..~ cranberry jello ~.. v8.1 .. live the spotlight ..

i cannot speak a word. i cannot sing a phrase. i cannot breathe in air. all i breathe is taf.

2004. Dayum. Words cannot really describe it... which is a good thing. Since I can't talk anymore. Nothing will ever compare to it... besides maybe another year of TAF down the line. Once again, TAF has taken my high-as-none-other expectations and soared above them. Even though ON PAPER it should have sucked. I battered myself so bad. I have billions of bruises. I'm sick to my stomach. My nose is stuffed, my ears are plugged, my eyes hurt, my entire body is sore.

DEAR LORD I MISS IT.

At TAF, I knew I was experiencing something special. But now I know... BEST YEAR EVER. It wasn't just the last night, it was EVERYTHING. It was the first day, jumping around, screaming "WE'RE AT TAF WE'RE AT TAF". It was the bus ride there. It was group games in the Great Hall. Scaring the new campers, then telling them to get used to it. It was watching the guys be gay together. Being Elissa's girlfriend. Knowing there is always someone willing to carry me to wherever I was going. Seeing old friends. Meeting new ones. Becoming better friends with old ones. Sitting in a room where you know everyone in there would give you a hug. Too many memories and jokes and stories and random laughs to recount.

I need to throw out thank yous-- so many people made my week. Young and Cat... amazing A/AA. The entire group-- my fellow cheerleaders, my spirit squad, you cheered me on throughout the week. We opened so much, we shared, we cried we laughed, just wow. Also.. definitely John, for being such a touching speaker. You opened my eyes to so much, opened my mind and made me dig inside for things that I didn't know I had. The power to forgive... to be redeemed... to be happy. I'm not gonna list everyone because I'm bound to leave someone out, but you know who you are. Anyone who chilled with me this week, made me laugh, made me think, gave me a piggyback ride.... everyone. I love you guys so much. I don't know how I live without seeing you during the year... every August I remember how much I want you guys in my life, to live love and learn with me.

I look back, and I can't remember... where did the week go? Where did my friends go? Did I really just hug them goodbye for an entire year? It seems so surreal- blame it on the lack of sleep. I just need to apologize for being so dead the last day. I wish I had been awake, alert, ready to leave my friends with the happy and energetic heart they're used to. And even though I can't really speak anymore... you've all heard my voice within.

TAF PIX UP

mission statement: To become a person whom I would respect. To have values and hold onto them with great integrity. To live with passion, to do what I love, be happy, and in turn, make the world a happier place.
My life's path is not a road. It is an ocean, with endless horizons all around.