more boringer stuff first
More... boringer...er... ANYWAY. State championships (high school football) tomorrow... goin down to Urbana to watch my HAWKS beat the shit out of Lockport. Damn straight. Actually, I might not even go. It depends if I'm still sick tomorrow, and if I feel okay. =T Ah, the dilemmas in life. If so, leavin around 2pm and not gettin back till late... past midnight, probably. Then Sunday=no Chinese school =D so hit me up if you wanna do something. Mmm... what else?
kinda blank
Really no outlook on life right now. It's kinda nice to have myself wiped free of all pretense. At the same time... I feel kind of empty. And vulnerable. Where are the barriers that I always put up to keep myself in and others out? Is it really gone, or has it just become so automatic and invisible to me now? Everything is one big contradiction. My world is empty, but so cluttered. I have so much to do, yet so little is important. Why do I bother with it at all? Too much automatism. I'm really making no sense, but then again, I usually don't. My filter turned off last week and I really don't think it's going to turn back on. Besides, I'm so sick of not saying the things I want to say. I'm careful not to offend people, but if something random pops into my head... why not?? Life is full of too many things I want to avoid. Shouldn't it be funner? And always... I feel like I'm missing something.
11.26.2003
revelations from tonight
Not all sophomores are losers.
AA is incredibly fine. And there is nothing wrong with anything on his entire body. (That's right, Anne.)
Guys look worse with hair gel that looks wet.
Public, open spaces are not the best places to speak loudly.
The SC 430 is the hottest car I've seen in my life.
... nice cars are usually driven by old people.
Boys are abusive.
Boys who are abusive are not always flirting.
There really IS nothing to do in my town.
Peppermint mocha lattes are another form of coffee that I can stand (besides frappucinos.)
People who look like they are mocking you are really just jealous.
I am in love with JJ Pryor and Jim DiMatteo. One does not really exist and the other does not know that I exist, but that's okay.
Not all sophomores are losers.
AA is incredibly fine. And there is nothing wrong with anything on his entire body. (That's right, Anne.)
Guys look worse with hair gel that looks wet.
Public, open spaces are not the best places to speak loudly.
The SC 430 is the hottest car I've seen in my life.
... nice cars are usually driven by old people.
Boys are abusive.
Boys who are abusive are not always flirting.
There really IS nothing to do in my town.
Peppermint mocha lattes are another form of coffee that I can stand (besides frappucinos.)
People who look like they are mocking you are really just jealous.
I am in love with JJ Pryor and Jim DiMatteo. One does not really exist and the other does not know that I exist, but that's okay.
11.24.2003
in no particular order...
?1 person who can't be in any categories he wants and won't concede to be put in the "movies i've watched" section:
1. John. The Florida one.
?12 things that annoy me...
1. people that demand their own category in my surveys
2. wHeN yOo TaIpE LyK dIs, SpEcIaLLy oN a wEbSyTe >=(
3. hypocrisy
4. snow in march, april, or may. up until november.
5. lack of sleep
6. people trying to talk to you when you are obviously in the middle of something
7. the Teacher Conspiracy (when they band together and assign everything for the same day)
8. traffic!!! >=( on the street or in my freakin school.. AHH!!
9. MACs!!! grrrr
10. lack of common sense
11. this one's from lucyy: "guys who act like their a muther fuckin P-I-M-P"
12. people that call me "beh'-tih-nuh"... JP! (AM I???) (let's make this more specific: people who-- in addition-- also really should stop spiking their hair, who are always in the way, and oh yeah.. just LOOK like jackasses ~_^)
?11 things that you love...
1. peppermint coconut lime vanilla etc
2. candles
3. food in general
4. shopping til the fat lady sings
5. hangin out with friends... especially LOITERING
6. snail mail! (or flowers in the mail.. =D)
7. STAGE LIGHTS... performing in front of crowds... blowin everyone away ~_^
8. long phone calls... till 3 in the mornin (enlightenment! =P)
9. havin a foot soak ~_^
10. random acts of kindness/understanding/going out of their way when they dont have to
11. FRIENDS that can make the worst day ever into something you can get through, even if you only see them for a couple seconds
?10 things you're looking forward to...
1. when i know the answer to the last question of this "survey" thing (#1)
2. TAF 04!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! swing choir AWW YEAH
3. thanksgiving break =)
4. winter break-- goin downtown and shoppin with my friends
5. when javy gets back home =D
6. CANCUN
7. the day i find out what i'm going to do with my life
8. the day I can let go of my regrets, knowing that it's all going to be alright
9. seeing TAFers-- gettogethers bABY =P!
10. the next time I can be with all my friends and just chill
?9 things you wear daily...
1. deodorant. (aren't you glad?)
2. underwear.. =P
3. contacts (i think i'd be legally blind without them)
4. footwear... =T
5. makeup.. usually.. under my eyes.. =T
6. something to put my hair up with
7. a watch
8. ... clothes
9. A SMILE!! (literally. I'm easily amused so I'm always laughing.)
?8 things you hate:
1. mind games
2. restrictions
3. inactivity
4. lack of common courtesy
5. being constrained
6. lack of inspiration
7. knowing something's true but wishing it weren't
8. WAITING
?7 movies you've seen more than once...
1. FINDING NEMO
2. monsters inc
3. lord of the rings =D
4. save the last dance
5. i-spy =P
6. goldmember =D
7. monty python and the holy grail!!
?6 objects you touch every day...
1. computer =P
2. phone
3. pen
4. refridgerator... hahaa
5. my pillow
6. my ... chair.... =T
?5 things you do every morning...
1. wake up (sometimes. ~_^)
2. wake UP wake up... (wash my face, etc)
3. stumble out of my room
4. drink water
5. turn on my brain... usually.
?4 foods you couldn't live without...
1. BUBBOH TEA!!!!!!!!! =D
2. frappucinos... yeah... starbucks junkie <~~
3. noodles.. that my mommy makes =D
4. italian food.. mMmMmMmmmm
?3 of your favorite songs at the moment...
1. Breathe- Michelle Branch
2. Hey Ya- Outkast
3. Hold On- Good Charlotte
?2 people who have influenced your life the most...
1. my sister-- she has always been there either pullin my hair or pushin me through tough math problems =P but either way she has been so great to my life that I wouldn't be even CLOSE to me if she hadn't been there
2. Anne and Elyse-- I couldn't pick which. 9 years and runnin, baby!! You guys are the best. I've known you so long that you've basically become a PART of me.
?1 person you could spend the rest of your life with...
1. ?????????????? (jo momma?)
[footnote: I was going to put "Javy" there but I figure I'd rather be realistic... I mean, Javy is older than me and unfortunately he'd probably die before me. Therefore I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him.]
?1 person who can't be in any categories he wants and won't concede to be put in the "movies i've watched" section:
1. John. The Florida one.
?12 things that annoy me...
1. people that demand their own category in my surveys
2. wHeN yOo TaIpE LyK dIs, SpEcIaLLy oN a wEbSyTe >=(
3. hypocrisy
4. snow in march, april, or may. up until november.
5. lack of sleep
6. people trying to talk to you when you are obviously in the middle of something
7. the Teacher Conspiracy (when they band together and assign everything for the same day)
8. traffic!!! >=( on the street or in my freakin school.. AHH!!
9. MACs!!! grrrr
10. lack of common sense
11. this one's from lucyy: "guys who act like their a muther fuckin P-I-M-P"
12. people that call me "beh'-tih-nuh"... JP! (AM I???) (let's make this more specific: people who-- in addition-- also really should stop spiking their hair, who are always in the way, and oh yeah.. just LOOK like jackasses ~_^)
?11 things that you love...
1. peppermint coconut lime vanilla etc
2. candles
3. food in general
4. shopping til the fat lady sings
5. hangin out with friends... especially LOITERING
6. snail mail! (or flowers in the mail.. =D)
7. STAGE LIGHTS... performing in front of crowds... blowin everyone away ~_^
8. long phone calls... till 3 in the mornin (enlightenment! =P)
9. havin a foot soak ~_^
10. random acts of kindness/understanding/going out of their way when they dont have to
11. FRIENDS that can make the worst day ever into something you can get through, even if you only see them for a couple seconds
?10 things you're looking forward to...
1. when i know the answer to the last question of this "survey" thing (#1)
2. TAF 04!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! swing choir AWW YEAH
3. thanksgiving break =)
4. winter break-- goin downtown and shoppin with my friends
5. when javy gets back home =D
6. CANCUN
7. the day i find out what i'm going to do with my life
8. the day I can let go of my regrets, knowing that it's all going to be alright
9. seeing TAFers-- gettogethers bABY =P!
10. the next time I can be with all my friends and just chill
?9 things you wear daily...
1. deodorant. (aren't you glad?)
2. underwear.. =P
3. contacts (i think i'd be legally blind without them)
4. footwear... =T
5. makeup.. usually.. under my eyes.. =T
6. something to put my hair up with
7. a watch
8. ... clothes
9. A SMILE!! (literally. I'm easily amused so I'm always laughing.)
?8 things you hate:
1. mind games
2. restrictions
3. inactivity
4. lack of common courtesy
5. being constrained
6. lack of inspiration
7. knowing something's true but wishing it weren't
8. WAITING
?7 movies you've seen more than once...
1. FINDING NEMO
2. monsters inc
3. lord of the rings =D
4. save the last dance
5. i-spy =P
6. goldmember =D
7. monty python and the holy grail!!
?6 objects you touch every day...
1. computer =P
2. phone
3. pen
4. refridgerator... hahaa
5. my pillow
6. my ... chair.... =T
?5 things you do every morning...
1. wake up (sometimes. ~_^)
2. wake UP wake up... (wash my face, etc)
3. stumble out of my room
4. drink water
5. turn on my brain... usually.
?4 foods you couldn't live without...
1. BUBBOH TEA!!!!!!!!! =D
2. frappucinos... yeah... starbucks junkie <~~
3. noodles.. that my mommy makes =D
4. italian food.. mMmMmMmmmm
?3 of your favorite songs at the moment...
1. Breathe- Michelle Branch
2. Hey Ya- Outkast
3. Hold On- Good Charlotte
?2 people who have influenced your life the most...
1. my sister-- she has always been there either pullin my hair or pushin me through tough math problems =P but either way she has been so great to my life that I wouldn't be even CLOSE to me if she hadn't been there
2. Anne and Elyse-- I couldn't pick which. 9 years and runnin, baby!! You guys are the best. I've known you so long that you've basically become a PART of me.
?1 person you could spend the rest of your life with...
1. ?????????????? (jo momma?)
[footnote: I was going to put "Javy" there but I figure I'd rather be realistic... I mean, Javy is older than me and unfortunately he'd probably die before me. Therefore I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him.]
