i was reading back on my xanga...

and I realize that I was so happy back then. Ugh. How did I end up so fatalistic and sad?? It's sad that I'm sad now! And that I wasn't sad before! Hm, probably because 8th grade was the bomb. I miss it =(. Crazy. My life isn't even that bad... it's just that I've ended up doing a lot of stuff that I don't want to. It's hard to enjoy. But I've been blessed with so many people in my life that have somehow helped me find a way to enjoy it. So this is what I'm going to do for this New Year thing. Just THANK YOUs.

• THANK YOU to my bestest of friends. For being there for me no matter what, for keepin up with me, for pushin me to go further, for knowing me and what I do and accepting me for it. All that good stuff.
  
• THANK YOU to my family. For putting up with me at my worst, for always caring about me, for everything I have in this world at all.
  
• THANK YOU to all my TAFers. For, once again, making the first full week of August the most unforgettable and amazing week of this year. For listening to my blurbs and opinions, my crazy ideas, my random Bettina-isms, and for being crazy WITH me =D.
  
• THANK YOU to everyone who has made my freshman year [so far] endurable. For putting up with me in classes, for keepin me company during passing periods, for sympathizing with me against the teacher conspiracy.
  
• Lastly, THANK YOU to all the bastards in this world who have tried to bring me down. For making me >that much< stronger, for making me realize how blessed I am to be who I am and have the friends I do, for making me grateful that I did not turn out like them, and for reminding me that no matter how much life sucks, I push on because I don't WANT to turn out like them.

And whoever said I was a hater? ~_^ Oh, but don't think I've already given up my motto. I'll still beat you with a stick.

Okay a couple more things I need to say: I might switch back to Xanga. Because [apparently] it has stopped eating posts and it might just be easier to post there. But then again... I might not. Opinions? Um, what else? Oh right. According to Jason, Frank and Liss, I have a "cheerful countenance." So how the hell did I end up with such an unhappy blog? Heh.

Everyone plus their grandmother's fish xanga'ed. I mean, XANGA'd!!!!! <~ that was for Peter. Cuz he's the only one who will get it.

I'm really random right now.

Cancun was good. But if I talk about it I will get lynched, so I think I shan't. But I am home now. And I heard TAF new year's was good? Without me? (sniff).

Currently hating on: sluts. airheads. the parents that allow girls turning into sluts and airheads. the society that allows sluts and airheads to prosper. the boys that promote girls turning into sluts and airheads. boys in general. (the worthless ones). oh, and the yankees.

Alright, alright. It's 2004. Now go away.

edit>> FINE. What's up with New Year's anyway? It's just another day... it just happens to be the day that someone picked thousands of years ago to be the "first". It's all relative anyway. But, fine. This is what my motto this year shall be:

Works, huh? So, I deleted part of the post up there ^ because I figured it didn't matter. I'm so sick of CLUTTER. Just get it all out... purge everything of excess. Rrgh. My mind is mush and I feel like punching something. I guess I'll do a reflective thingy or somethin some other time. But I seriously have felt like crap all day. Boo.