1.06.2004
some revelations
My last post was very.. strange. But very much me. And in the middle, a random spurt of mental turmoil that somehow made it onto my blog. Hm, doesn't happen usually, cuz that's all bey0nd, right? =P
Also: random acts of kindness make my day. and make for good stories =D Like today, I was walking down the hallway and I accidentally stepped on a piece of paper but didn't really notice/register it. A kid walking like 20 feet behind me picks it up and runs down the hall after me-- "Hey, I think you dropped this paper back there." So I say.. "Oh no, sorry, it's not mine, I just.. stepped on it." -_-' and he responds sarcastically "Awww man, I tryyy to do somethin nice, and--" haha.. so I laughed apologized again and it was great. Just because it was nice of him, and I didn't even know him, and it was the first real RAoK I've had at my school so far. So, good story, huh?
Another: tans are just good. Well, good for me. I hate the girls or guys that are like bleached blonde and have [usually fake] orange tans... it just doesn't look right. (I could keep ranting about them, but I won't) But personally, I think I look better tan than I do pale (Though according to SOME people, I am always pale.) Which isn't true. But anyway. It's a revelation, so there.
Ironically: I don't blog as often when I have school as I do when I'm on vacation. Yet, when I blog when there's school, I blog late at night while I still have homework to do. The preceding holds true today as well.
Lastly: not a revelation, just a universal truth. I am in a world of pain. Did I mention how I clocked myself right on the eyebrow with a pickleball racket?? [they're made of wood.. heavy wood.] It hurt so much my eye started watering. So now I have this bruise on my head, and it hurts when I raise my eyebrow. In addition to that (yeah, it gets better) my coach thinks it'd be good if we ended our dance with a double turn into the middle splits-- then fall from the middle splits forward onto our stomachs. Oh yeah, great ending. TOO BAD IT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER. So yeah, I just put that IcyHot stuff on every square inch of my legs. I could keep going but I think I bitch enough about pain to last everyone a lifetime.
So, happy back to school, huh?
My last post was very.. strange. But very much me. And in the middle, a random spurt of mental turmoil that somehow made it onto my blog. Hm, doesn't happen usually, cuz that's all bey0nd, right? =P
Also: random acts of kindness make my day. and make for good stories =D Like today, I was walking down the hallway and I accidentally stepped on a piece of paper but didn't really notice/register it. A kid walking like 20 feet behind me picks it up and runs down the hall after me-- "Hey, I think you dropped this paper back there." So I say.. "Oh no, sorry, it's not mine, I just.. stepped on it." -_-' and he responds sarcastically "Awww man, I tryyy to do somethin nice, and--" haha.. so I laughed apologized again and it was great. Just because it was nice of him, and I didn't even know him, and it was the first real RAoK I've had at my school so far. So, good story, huh?
Another: tans are just good. Well, good for me. I hate the girls or guys that are like bleached blonde and have [usually fake] orange tans... it just doesn't look right. (I could keep ranting about them, but I won't) But personally, I think I look better tan than I do pale (Though according to SOME people, I am always pale.) Which isn't true. But anyway. It's a revelation, so there.
Ironically: I don't blog as often when I have school as I do when I'm on vacation. Yet, when I blog when there's school, I blog late at night while I still have homework to do. The preceding holds true today as well.
Lastly: not a revelation, just a universal truth. I am in a world of pain. Did I mention how I clocked myself right on the eyebrow with a pickleball racket?? [they're made of wood.. heavy wood.] It hurt so much my eye started watering. So now I have this bruise on my head, and it hurts when I raise my eyebrow. In addition to that (yeah, it gets better) my coach thinks it'd be good if we ended our dance with a double turn into the middle splits-- then fall from the middle splits forward onto our stomachs. Oh yeah, great ending. TOO BAD IT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER. So yeah, I just put that IcyHot stuff on every square inch of my legs. I could keep going but I think I bitch enough about pain to last everyone a lifetime.
So, happy back to school, huh?
1.04.2004
in 9 hours...
::wince:: Let's not say it outloud. It makes it more real.
Every week I forget how much I love Will Estes. And then Sunday comes along. PUAHAHA...
Oh no- my battery dead on my cell phone, n I really wanna caaaallll ya.. Yoooouu're my aaaangel, yooouu're my heart girl.. I heart taf songs.
More pics from the winter up soon. Took a bunch of nifty stuff in the snow and then a buncha TAF peoples.. and Jase's foine lights on the flo hehe
Sorry I'm so random. Wait, no I'm not. Deal with it.
About the drama.. I don't want it. But I can handle it, right? I'm strong, right? nothing has never hurt so much.. I'm still trying to figure out what that means to me. But when I say it, it makes sense.. to me. Have I mentioned that I hate waiting? breathe. I'm letting it go, right? I can do this, right??
Thanks to everyone that worried. I'm not saying that I'm sad, I'm just saying that I'm blogging about sadder things.
Sigh, I guess I should sleep. =(
::wince:: Let's not say it outloud. It makes it more real.
Every week I forget how much I love Will Estes. And then Sunday comes along. PUAHAHA...
Oh no- my battery dead on my cell phone, n I really wanna caaaallll ya.. Yoooouu're my aaaangel, yooouu're my heart girl.. I heart taf songs.
More pics from the winter up soon. Took a bunch of nifty stuff in the snow and then a buncha TAF peoples.. and Jase's foine lights on the flo hehe
Sorry I'm so random. Wait, no I'm not. Deal with it.
About the drama.. I don't want it. But I can handle it, right? I'm strong, right? nothing has never hurt so much.. I'm still trying to figure out what that means to me. But when I say it, it makes sense.. to me. Have I mentioned that I hate waiting? breathe. I'm letting it go, right? I can do this, right??
Thanks to everyone that worried. I'm not saying that I'm sad, I'm just saying that I'm blogging about sadder things.
Sigh, I guess I should sleep. =(
1.02.2004
i was reading back on my xanga...
and I realize that I was so happy back then. Ugh. How did I end up so fatalistic and sad?? It's sad that I'm sad now! And that I wasn't sad before! Hm, probably because 8th grade was the bomb. I miss it =(. Crazy. My life isn't even that bad... it's just that I've ended up doing a lot of stuff that I don't want to. It's hard to enjoy. But I've been blessed with so many people in my life that have somehow helped me find a way to enjoy it. So this is what I'm going to do for this New Year thing. Just THANK YOUs.
And whoever said I was a hater? ~_^ Oh, but don't think I've already given up my motto. I'll still beat you with a stick.
Okay a couple more things I need to say: I might switch back to Xanga. Because [apparently] it has stopped eating posts and it might just be easier to post there. But then again... I might not. Opinions? Um, what else? Oh right. According to Jason, Frank and Liss, I have a "cheerful countenance." So how the hell did I end up with such an unhappy blog? Heh.
and I realize that I was so happy back then. Ugh. How did I end up so fatalistic and sad?? It's sad that I'm sad now! And that I wasn't sad before! Hm, probably because 8th grade was the bomb. I miss it =(. Crazy. My life isn't even that bad... it's just that I've ended up doing a lot of stuff that I don't want to. It's hard to enjoy. But I've been blessed with so many people in my life that have somehow helped me find a way to enjoy it. So this is what I'm going to do for this New Year thing. Just THANK YOUs.
- THANK YOU to my bestest of friends. For being there for me no matter what, for keepin up with me, for pushin me to go further, for knowing me and what I do and accepting me for it. All that good stuff.
- THANK YOU to my family. For putting up with me at my worst, for always caring about me, for everything I have in this world at all.
- THANK YOU to all my TAFers. For, once again, making the first full week of August the most unforgettable and amazing week of this year. For listening to my blurbs and opinions, my crazy ideas, my random Bettina-isms, and for being crazy WITH me =D.
- THANK YOU to everyone who has made my freshman year [so far] endurable. For putting up with me in classes, for keepin me company during passing periods, for sympathizing with me against the teacher conspiracy.
- Lastly, THANK YOU to all the bastards in this world who have tried to bring me down. For making me >that much< stronger, for making me realize how blessed I am to be who I am and have the friends I do, for making me grateful that I did not turn out like them, and for reminding me that no matter how much life sucks, I push on because I don't WANT to turn out like them.
And whoever said I was a hater? ~_^ Oh, but don't think I've already given up my motto. I'll still beat you with a stick.
Okay a couple more things I need to say: I might switch back to Xanga. Because [apparently] it has stopped eating posts and it might just be easier to post there. But then again... I might not. Opinions? Um, what else? Oh right. According to Jason, Frank and Liss, I have a "cheerful countenance." So how the hell did I end up with such an unhappy blog? Heh.
1.01.2004
Everyone plus their grandmother's fish xanga'ed. I mean, XANGA'd!!!!! <~ that was for Peter. Cuz he's the only one who will get it.
I'm really random right now.
Cancun was good. But if I talk about it I will get lynched, so I think I shan't. But I am home now. And I heard TAF new year's was good? Without me? (sniff).
Currently hating on: sluts. airheads. the parents that allow girls turning into sluts and airheads. the society that allows sluts and airheads to prosper. the boys that promote girls turning into sluts and airheads. boys in general. (the worthless ones). oh, and the yankees.
Alright, alright. It's 2004. Now go away.
edit>> FINE. What's up with New Year's anyway? It's just another day... it just happens to be the day that someone picked thousands of years ago to be the "first". It's all relative anyway. But, fine. This is what my motto this year shall be:
Works, huh? So, I deleted part of the post up there ^ because I figured it didn't matter. I'm so sick of CLUTTER. Just get it all out... purge everything of excess. Rrgh. My mind is mush and I feel like punching something. I guess I'll do a reflective thingy or somethin some other time. But I seriously have felt like crap all day. Boo.
I'm really random right now.
Cancun was good. But if I talk about it I will get lynched, so I think I shan't. But I am home now. And I heard TAF new year's was good? Without me? (sniff).
Currently hating on: sluts. airheads. the parents that allow girls turning into sluts and airheads. the society that allows sluts and airheads to prosper. the boys that promote girls turning into sluts and airheads. boys in general. (the worthless ones). oh, and the yankees.
Alright, alright. It's 2004. Now go away.
edit>> FINE. What's up with New Year's anyway? It's just another day... it just happens to be the day that someone picked thousands of years ago to be the "first". It's all relative anyway. But, fine. This is what my motto this year shall be:
Works, huh? So, I deleted part of the post up there ^ because I figured it didn't matter. I'm so sick of CLUTTER. Just get it all out... purge everything of excess. Rrgh. My mind is mush and I feel like punching something. I guess I'll do a reflective thingy or somethin some other time. But I seriously have felt like crap all day. Boo.
