the xanga experiment - test phase 1
Yes, I've given in. At least for a little bit. I'm re-entering the realm of Xanga. I also made it prettier. It's brighter, so maybe it'll keep me afloat now that the sun sets at FUCKING 4:30 PM!!!
So, if you're gonna miss my blogspot, I'll just preview you on the next two months:
1) Today we ordered a Prius. The waiting list is 6ish months (but possibly earlier), he said. If my mommy approves, then we will order from a different dealership where the waiting list will (hopefully) only be 2 weeks.
2) School is eating out my brain. This will continue to be true for quite some time... so don't worry all that much about that status.
3) Major seasonary awareness syndrome-- I have issues with cloudiness.
4) I wanna go to St. Louis for Thanksgiving... ::sigh::
5) License on Dec 17. Jamaica on Dec 18. TAF new years on Jan 1. Seriously... why does the next month even need to exist?
So long for a bit!
11.01.2004
deet deet dede deet dedeet!
On Dateline tonight...
Yay 8th grade CCLA project! I miss it =( I miss smuggling the camera and computer out of school. I miss watching Catie eat 20 white castles at Mary's house. I had no intention about talking about this in this post but I had to come up with a random opening line.
Anyway, I'm having major post baseball depression drawback sickness. I mean, I'll sit here and refresh mlb.com as much as I want but yeah the season's definitely over. In other news, Peter and I invented the Red Cubs (or the Blue Sox... but then its too much like the White Sox... so I shot it). We are hella good. But we couldn't decide on V-tek/Barrett. So we bickered then put both in.
I crave FREEDOM. This past week all I did was mope. I miss my optimism. What happened to it? And then I watched My Sassy Girl and then I bawled my eyes out. Guess that wasn't a great idea if I really wanted to feel better. I think I might feel better this week. I think. I hope. Actually, I figure if I tell myself I'm feeling good, then I will. So yes, this week will be a good week.
I think.
On Dateline tonight...
Yay 8th grade CCLA project! I miss it =( I miss smuggling the camera and computer out of school. I miss watching Catie eat 20 white castles at Mary's house. I had no intention about talking about this in this post but I had to come up with a random opening line.
Anyway, I'm having major post baseball depression drawback sickness. I mean, I'll sit here and refresh mlb.com as much as I want but yeah the season's definitely over. In other news, Peter and I invented the Red Cubs (or the Blue Sox... but then its too much like the White Sox... so I shot it). We are hella good. But we couldn't decide on V-tek/Barrett. So we bickered then put both in.
I crave FREEDOM. This past week all I did was mope. I miss my optimism. What happened to it? And then I watched My Sassy Girl and then I bawled my eyes out. Guess that wasn't a great idea if I really wanted to feel better. I think I might feel better this week. I think. I hope. Actually, I figure if I tell myself I'm feeling good, then I will. So yes, this week will be a good week.
I think.
10.28.2004
can someone gimme a SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Damn.
That has got to be one of my more favoriter pictures of the spectacle. For instance, observe David Ortiz, about 3 times bigger than any of his teammates, trying to pile on top of them. You see Arroyo's cornrolls, "Mueller", and Pedro's hair. Best of all... you see POOHOLES sulking in the background.
Oh I really do love the Red Sox. I have since I first saw them in the ALCS last year, for Tim Wakefield's start... man do I love Timmy. I'm not just a convert... I've been rooting for them all the way. Sure, I wanted to see the Cardinals lose. And I will always bleed Cubbie blue. But they're our AL brothers and damn it feels good to win. Now, I'll just keep... WaitingTilNextYr, just like the rest of Cubdom, so hopefully illustrated in this touching article.
And remember who coined the "Why not us?" phrase. That's right folks: Dusty Baker.
Damn.
That has got to be one of my more favoriter pictures of the spectacle. For instance, observe David Ortiz, about 3 times bigger than any of his teammates, trying to pile on top of them. You see Arroyo's cornrolls, "Mueller", and Pedro's hair. Best of all... you see POOHOLES sulking in the background.
Oh I really do love the Red Sox. I have since I first saw them in the ALCS last year, for Tim Wakefield's start... man do I love Timmy. I'm not just a convert... I've been rooting for them all the way. Sure, I wanted to see the Cardinals lose. And I will always bleed Cubbie blue. But they're our AL brothers and damn it feels good to win. Now, I'll just keep... WaitingTilNextYr, just like the rest of Cubdom, so hopefully illustrated in this touching article.
And remember who coined the "Why not us?" phrase. That's right folks: Dusty Baker.
10.26.2004
randomize
I'm sick of heartbreakers. All you assholes in this world. I'm sick of hearing of my friends, strong people, who are just getting fuckin run over by morons that they SOMEHOW trusted and then had it thrown back into their face. How does this happen? Every day I learn yet another way that people find to be jerks. It's as if they try.
Anyway. This weekend was pretty good... correction, Saturday was good. Sunday I had driving session then Chinese school then homeworked my ass off until I fell asleep in front of the TV watching BOSTON KICK REDBIRDBUTT.. TAIL. Up 2-0 baby HELL YES. So, I drove on the highway yesterday and today... definitely a success... Woodfield every day once I get my license haha. I really can't wait. Winter break is gonna bring me almost everything I want. Take the road test on that Friday, then gone to Jamaica for a week before Christmas, getting home Christmas day, then TAF new year's (I'm on the planning committee! ha ha).
I'm done with that journal for English so I guess I might update more. Might. I'm feeling a lot better about classes... not that Euro isn't still eating my life or my English teacher has ceased to piss me off... but I'm doing okay. I wish I could say the same about everyone else. I hate it when people I love get fucked on something that I can't do anything about. I hate feeling helpless to help people. It's all because of those assholes...
In another news... happy bday to Jason, Peter, and Eric.
[[edit]] Here's an interesting thought: What is your favorite/most memorable/best memory you have with me (or involving me)? Yes I know I'm pretty damn awesome, but PICK ONE ~_^
I'm sick of heartbreakers. All you assholes in this world. I'm sick of hearing of my friends, strong people, who are just getting fuckin run over by morons that they SOMEHOW trusted and then had it thrown back into their face. How does this happen? Every day I learn yet another way that people find to be jerks. It's as if they try.
Anyway. This weekend was pretty good... correction, Saturday was good. Sunday I had driving session then Chinese school then homeworked my ass off until I fell asleep in front of the TV watching BOSTON KICK REDBIRD
I'm done with that journal for English so I guess I might update more. Might. I'm feeling a lot better about classes... not that Euro isn't still eating my life or my English teacher has ceased to piss me off... but I'm doing okay. I wish I could say the same about everyone else. I hate it when people I love get fucked on something that I can't do anything about. I hate feeling helpless to help people. It's all because of those assholes...
In another news... happy bday to Jason, Peter, and Eric.
[[edit]] Here's an interesting thought: What is your favorite/most memorable/best memory you have with me (or involving me)? Yes I know I'm pretty damn awesome, but PICK ONE ~_^
10.17.2004
Absolutely addicted to this song... so beautiful.
~*~*~
I've heard there was a secret chord
that David played, and it pleased the lord--
but you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth,
the minor fall, the major lift,
the baffled king composing hallelujah...
Your faith was strong but you needed proof,
you saw her bathing on the roof;
her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to a kitchen chair,
she broke your throne, she cut your hair,
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah...
Maybe I've been here before,
I know this room, I've walked this floor;
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
but love is not a victory march,
it's a cold and it's a b ro k en hallelujah...
There was a time you'd let me know
what's real and going on below,
but now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you,
the holy dark was moving too
then every breath we drew was hallelujah...
Maybe there's a god above,
and all I ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
It's not a cry you can hear at night,
it's not somebody who's seen the light,
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
Hallelujah.... hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.
that David played, and it pleased the lord--
but you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth,
the minor fall, the major lift,
the baffled king composing hallelujah...
Your faith was strong but you needed proof,
you saw her bathing on the roof;
her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to a kitchen chair,
she broke your throne, she cut your hair,
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah...
Maybe I've been here before,
I know this room, I've walked this floor;
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
but love is not a victory march,
it's a cold and it's a b ro k en hallelujah...
There was a time you'd let me know
what's real and going on below,
but now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you,
the holy dark was moving too
then every breath we drew was hallelujah...
Maybe there's a god above,
and all I ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
It's not a cry you can hear at night,
it's not somebody who's seen the light,
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
Hallelujah.... hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.
~ rufus wainwright
10.11.2004
i can't let go of summer...
Yeah I know it's October already....but I just don't want to accept it. I don't want to wear sweatshirts or sweaters to school (even though South is freezing enough to wear that throughout the year...). I don't want to see snow, hell, I don't even want to see my birthday yet. I just want summer. Warm weather. Clear skies.
Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. In fact, I'll even take this kind of autumn weather for another month or so. Since we only have two seasons, I guess it's more of an extension of summer. But seriously.... bright blue sky yesterday. Pure as crystal. The trees around OCC are amazing. I don't want them to go away. I guess there's otherstuff to look forward to... my birthday, Thanksgiving break, getting my license, winter break, living life, etc. But I don't want to think about that! It's too far away! I just want to enjoy myself and relax while I can. It seems like everything that I wanted has either passed/left or is so far away/unobtainable. Like... peace of mind?
I just heard about someone whose boyfriend moved to Thailand. It was soooooo sad. Why does life do this kind of shit to people?
Yeah I know it's October already....but I just don't want to accept it. I don't want to wear sweatshirts or sweaters to school (even though South is freezing enough to wear that throughout the year...). I don't want to see snow, hell, I don't even want to see my birthday yet. I just want summer. Warm weather. Clear skies.
Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. In fact, I'll even take this kind of autumn weather for another month or so. Since we only have two seasons, I guess it's more of an extension of summer. But seriously.... bright blue sky yesterday. Pure as crystal. The trees around OCC are amazing. I don't want them to go away. I guess there's otherstuff to look forward to... my birthday, Thanksgiving break, getting my license, winter break, living life, etc. But I don't want to think about that! It's too far away! I just want to enjoy myself and relax while I can. It seems like everything that I wanted has either passed/left or is so far away/unobtainable. Like... peace of mind?
I just heard about someone whose boyfriend moved to Thailand. It was soooooo sad. Why does life do this kind of shit to people?
10.06.2004
pix
Sick of people bothering me about it. And you'll continue bothering me, because I barely took any pictures. Oops!
girls n boys-- ::Jason and Bettina walk into Emily's house, an hour late:: .... ::Bettina runs to get into pic with 7 girls she doesn't know::
"How come it looks like there's more guys than girls?" ... "Because... there ARE..."
At the restaurant-- Bucca, at Yorktown. Sir Andrew Shen, looking mighty noble.
Crap. The only serious pic that me and Jason took together. And I look like crap. >_<
This one's better. And my earring was bugging me so I'm playing with it in about 4 different pictures. Which I'm not posting.
too much fun with the menus there. "Let's make origami!" Ahaha... our waiter, Jake, was feriggin awesome. By the end of the night, we were all best buddies. And he put Jason's menu boat up on the shelf with all the decorations.
Lizelle, Kara and me... yay a normal pic! That Kara took... because I'm not smart enough to do these things...
Oh and we left a thank you note to Jake. On the back of a menu. With menu crayons. Yay!
Way too amused by pretty stuff. But I loved the corsage... good thing we went to get it, Jason! haha Okay I'm done, no more pix... don't kill me.
psst...
Sick of people bothering me about it. And you'll continue bothering me, because I barely took any pictures. Oops!
girls n boys-- ::Jason and Bettina walk into Emily's house, an hour late:: .... ::Bettina runs to get into pic with 7 girls she doesn't know::
"How come it looks like there's more guys than girls?" ... "Because... there ARE..."
At the restaurant-- Bucca, at Yorktown. Sir Andrew Shen, looking mighty noble.
Crap. The only serious pic that me and Jason took together. And I look like crap. >_<
This one's better. And my earring was bugging me so I'm playing with it in about 4 different pictures. Which I'm not posting.
too much fun with the menus there. "Let's make origami!" Ahaha... our waiter, Jake, was feriggin awesome. By the end of the night, we were all best buddies. And he put Jason's menu boat up on the shelf with all the decorations.
Lizelle, Kara and me... yay a normal pic! That Kara took... because I'm not smart enough to do these things...
Oh and we left a thank you note to Jake. On the back of a menu. With menu crayons. Yay!
Way too amused by pretty stuff. But I loved the corsage... good thing we went to get it, Jason! haha Okay I'm done, no more pix... don't kill me.
psst...
10.05.2004
mlb picks
Having had sufficient time and distractions to recover from the death of the 2004 Chicago Cubs, I have made my DREAM picks for this year's postseason (not logical, just dream):
NLDS:
LA Dodgers vs. St. Louis Cardinals- Cubs in 3 games. (Okay, actually, I'd like the Dodgers to sweep the Cards... yes, I understand they already lost today. But my DREAM PICKS...)
+ Matt Morris will give up 4 in the 1st inning
+ Scott Rolen will finally bust out his knee TOTALLY.
+ Hee Sop Choi, as an ex-Cub, will come thru and KICK MAJOR BIRDIE ASS.
Atlanta Braves vs. Houston Ass-trolls- Cubs in 3 games. (Sorry I couldn't help it... okay, Braves in 4. Houston can kiss it. That's RIGHT Allen... your precious stros are goin down. And Roger Clemens ain't got no homerun in him.) And basically, if the Cubs can't be in it, then NO ONE in our division can.
ALDS:
Boston Red Sox vs. Anaheim Angels- Sox in 4. Let's see how the rally monkey fairs against Keith Foulke.
Minnesota Twins vs. New York Satanspawn- Yanks in 5. So they can work for it, damnit. So they can use up their weakass starting rotation. I actually like the Twins, but if they win, the world won't be able to see this:
ALCS:
Boston Red Sox vs. New York DevilIncarnate- Sox in 7. I think it'd be illegal for this to happen any other way. Fights in game 3, 5, and 6. A Yankee fan will be found battered and unconscious outside of Fenway. The world will scream Hallelujah.
NLCS:
Atlanta Braves vs. LA Dodgers- Braves in 6. I like the Braves. With or without Javy... they're a pretty spiffy team. Because they deserve it, having proven their endurance even after losing half their team. Oh, and Gagne will blow a save, to add a little drama.
World Series:
Sox vs. Braves- Sox in 4. Because they deserve a break. And because damn right, it's better than yours.
Having had sufficient time and distractions to recover from the death of the 2004 Chicago Cubs, I have made my DREAM picks for this year's postseason (not logical, just dream):
NLDS:
LA Dodgers vs. St. Louis Cardinals- Cubs in 3 games. (Okay, actually, I'd like the Dodgers to sweep the Cards... yes, I understand they already lost today. But my DREAM PICKS...)
+ Matt Morris will give up 4 in the 1st inning
+ Scott Rolen will finally bust out his knee TOTALLY.
+ Hee Sop Choi, as an ex-Cub, will come thru and KICK MAJOR BIRDIE ASS.
Atlanta Braves vs. Houston Ass-trolls- Cubs in 3 games. (Sorry I couldn't help it... okay, Braves in 4. Houston can kiss it. That's RIGHT Allen... your precious stros are goin down. And Roger Clemens ain't got no homerun in him.) And basically, if the Cubs can't be in it, then NO ONE in our division can.
ALDS:
Boston Red Sox vs. Anaheim Angels- Sox in 4. Let's see how the rally monkey fairs against Keith Foulke.
Minnesota Twins vs. New York Satanspawn- Yanks in 5. So they can work for it, damnit. So they can use up their weakass starting rotation. I actually like the Twins, but if they win, the world won't be able to see this:
ALCS:
Boston Red Sox vs. New York DevilIncarnate- Sox in 7. I think it'd be illegal for this to happen any other way. Fights in game 3, 5, and 6. A Yankee fan will be found battered and unconscious outside of Fenway. The world will scream Hallelujah.
NLCS:
Atlanta Braves vs. LA Dodgers- Braves in 6. I like the Braves. With or without Javy... they're a pretty spiffy team. Because they deserve it, having proven their endurance even after losing half their team. Oh, and Gagne will blow a save, to add a little drama.
World Series:
Sox vs. Braves- Sox in 4. Because they deserve a break. And because damn right, it's better than yours.
10.03.2004
the BEST HOMECOMING .. of my sophomore year!
Well, there's another one next week. And that will be spectacular... however.... I have no date. Yes ladies and gentleman, if you ever meet a Maine South boy, you can safely assume that he holds no appreciation for the beauty and excellence that IS bettina chang. Ahahaha.. but anyway.
Thank you very much to the great (and dashing) Jason Lee for a marvelous remarkable absolutely magical night. I hope I helped to break your "homecoming curse", especially because you totally slaughtered me at our game last night. Also thank you to Sir Andrew Shen for giving in to peer pressure and coming along, even though we tortured him by pretending that we weren't going after all. Thanks to Emily for taking a million and a half pictures at her house.... to Kara for being so nice and just absolutely hilarious... Lizelle for having so much chemistry with me... Giemar for threatening to explode the peppers onto us... Joe for being my fake date with my fake ID with a non-existent permission form. There were SO MANY PEOPLE and they split us up at dinner so I didn't get introduced to half of them! But they were all super nice.
I'M SO SAD I DIDN'T GET TO SAY BYE TO YOU GUYS! I don't really feel like recounting the night. But it was hilarious. And everything we did was ON PURPOSE. Yes, that counts forgetting flowers, tickets, ID, getting lost, running red lights, not ringing doorbells... I wish I had taken more pictures. But I didn't. So I'll just wait until someone else gets them up and I will steal accordingly =D
other crap
So to make up for it, I shall give a taste of summer:
Aahah what a great night... I MISS SUMMER! It's so cold now! I'm not ready for fall =( The "tattoo" on my arm says "PRIOR #22" on it... haha... back when he came off the DL [Remember the hope we held at that point?]. Remember that bruise I had on my arm from running into a wall? Yeah I drew the heart to cover it up. Hahaha. I'm cool now.
OMG MY CUBBIES. I seriously feel like something inside me has died. But it's kind of good that we were slowly edged out of the race, instead of just losing in the postseason like last year. It was a little less painful. But a lot more sad. It's crazy to think that the season's over. But it was a good year... we loved them, we hated them, we hoped we pined and we pained... I'm still proud. Back to back winning seasons-- one step at a time, right? And um, go Red Sox?
I'm getting my braces off tomorrow. =D Yeah that's RIGHT, no more calling ME metal mouth.
Well, there's another one next week. And that will be spectacular... however.... I have no date. Yes ladies and gentleman, if you ever meet a Maine South boy, you can safely assume that he holds no appreciation for the beauty and excellence that IS bettina chang. Ahahaha.. but anyway.
Thank you very much to the great (and dashing) Jason Lee for a marvelous remarkable absolutely magical night. I hope I helped to break your "homecoming curse", especially because you totally slaughtered me at our game last night. Also thank you to Sir Andrew Shen for giving in to peer pressure and coming along, even though we tortured him by pretending that we weren't going after all. Thanks to Emily for taking a million and a half pictures at her house.... to Kara for being so nice and just absolutely hilarious... Lizelle for having so much chemistry with me... Giemar for threatening to explode the peppers onto us... Joe for being my fake date with my fake ID with a non-existent permission form. There were SO MANY PEOPLE and they split us up at dinner so I didn't get introduced to half of them! But they were all super nice.
I'M SO SAD I DIDN'T GET TO SAY BYE TO YOU GUYS! I don't really feel like recounting the night. But it was hilarious. And everything we did was ON PURPOSE. Yes, that counts forgetting flowers, tickets, ID, getting lost, running red lights, not ringing doorbells... I wish I had taken more pictures. But I didn't. So I'll just wait until someone else gets them up and I will steal accordingly =D
other crap
So to make up for it, I shall give a taste of summer:
Aahah what a great night... I MISS SUMMER! It's so cold now! I'm not ready for fall =( The "tattoo" on my arm says "PRIOR #22" on it... haha... back when he came off the DL [Remember the hope we held at that point?]. Remember that bruise I had on my arm from running into a wall? Yeah I drew the heart to cover it up. Hahaha. I'm cool now.
OMG MY CUBBIES. I seriously feel like something inside me has died. But it's kind of good that we were slowly edged out of the race, instead of just losing in the postseason like last year. It was a little less painful. But a lot more sad. It's crazy to think that the season's over. But it was a good year... we loved them, we hated them, we hoped we pined and we pained... I'm still proud. Back to back winning seasons-- one step at a time, right? And um, go Red Sox?
I'm getting my braces off tomorrow. =D Yeah that's RIGHT, no more calling ME metal mouth.
9.27.2004
can't say
I really don't think there's a way to describe the way I feel right now. I'm just so mixed up. Priorities, future, family, friends... too much to handle. So much homework lately... I haven't been doing 25% of it, and that's how I'm surviving. But sooner or later it's gonna bite me in the ass (like the 38/51 I got on my Euro test... luckily he curves).
So this week is pretty much dead to me. Tryouts don't start until tomorrow-- I also have Drivers' Ed on Tuesday and Thursday (my first driving session with the school). Saturday is homecoming, which I'm ridiculously and unnecessarily stressed for. But I am, and that sucks. I love my sister for saying she will be home Friday to save me. But Friday seems so far away. So many things are so far away. First semester usually flies by for me... so untrue this year. I don't understand how I'm surviving or not surviving... why I still exist, why I still do all the things I normally do. I'm living my life through a haze, and I don't know where it's coming from.
[dear lord i am editing this part of the original entry as it has apparently brought me bad luck...]
I really don't think there's a way to describe the way I feel right now. I'm just so mixed up. Priorities, future, family, friends... too much to handle. So much homework lately... I haven't been doing 25% of it, and that's how I'm surviving. But sooner or later it's gonna bite me in the ass (like the 38/51 I got on my Euro test... luckily he curves).
So this week is pretty much dead to me. Tryouts don't start until tomorrow-- I also have Drivers' Ed on Tuesday and Thursday (my first driving session with the school). Saturday is homecoming, which I'm ridiculously and unnecessarily stressed for. But I am, and that sucks. I love my sister for saying she will be home Friday to save me. But Friday seems so far away. So many things are so far away. First semester usually flies by for me... so untrue this year. I don't understand how I'm surviving or not surviving... why I still exist, why I still do all the things I normally do. I'm living my life through a haze, and I don't know where it's coming from.
[dear lord i am editing this part of the original entry as it has apparently brought me bad luck...]
9.26.2004
ouch.
I hurt! THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Choreographed all Friday night, completely collapsed on my bed, then went to my audition at 9 am. It went pretty well, I think. The judges were really nice (we knew a bunch of them from our old school). My shoe came off in the middle of it, but that wasn't the biggest problem at all. We find out tomorrow so.... ::cross fingers::
Then tomorrow till Wednesday are tryouts for orchesis (dance performing group at school). I don't know exactly what I'm thinking, going into this... I just want to test my luck, you know? Get in shape a lil. (I'm sore as hell though... that's probably not a good thing). But I'm gonna be hella busy, with Drivers' Ed right afterwards, plus, our AP Euro teacher has kicked into full gear. I guess the last chapter was just an intro, cuz now we have homework/reading assignments like mad for the next -who knows how long?
I feel like my days are being consumed by these things. And usually, striving towards goals (getting my liscense, making orchesis, etc) can keep me happy. But it's not working like that this year. I'm missing out on something.
I hurt! THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Choreographed all Friday night, completely collapsed on my bed, then went to my audition at 9 am. It went pretty well, I think. The judges were really nice (we knew a bunch of them from our old school). My shoe came off in the middle of it, but that wasn't the biggest problem at all. We find out tomorrow so.... ::cross fingers::
Then tomorrow till Wednesday are tryouts for orchesis (dance performing group at school). I don't know exactly what I'm thinking, going into this... I just want to test my luck, you know? Get in shape a lil. (I'm sore as hell though... that's probably not a good thing). But I'm gonna be hella busy, with Drivers' Ed right afterwards, plus, our AP Euro teacher has kicked into full gear. I guess the last chapter was just an intro, cuz now we have homework/reading assignments like mad for the next -who knows how long?
I feel like my days are being consumed by these things. And usually, striving towards goals (getting my liscense, making orchesis, etc) can keep me happy. But it's not working like that this year. I'm missing out on something.
9.23.2004
turning it around
I've decided to kill my most recent post... because, not only did most of you not know how to respond to it (except one of you.. =D), but neither did I. Because seriously, when I feel like that, I'm just waitin for something to snap me out of it. And I did. So why would I want to remember it?
I'm feeling so much better now. Not that I was depressed or anything, but definitely lacking passion/energy, something that I hate to see myself as. Well, now I finally have my voice back (or, most of it... I don't think I've completely had it since 8th grade...), so I will be more than happy to scream at your skankiness from across the hall (ESPECIALLY YOU, MAURA!! hahaha). I think my first time yelling in the hall today completely brought me back up. Pretty stupid, I know. But it's true.
Also it may have been my Euro test being over. Now the class if in full gear and I have a helluva huge reading assignment every day, but hey, at least I know what to do now. And, TOMORROW'S FRIDAY! Nothing makes me happier than that. Well, also situations outside of my control... but generally I'm awesome. (Naturally).
Hope you like or at least noticed the change... I had fun with it. Even though I'm no good with photostudio (cheap imitation of photoshop...), it was interesting to experiment. The words in the background are part of an essay I wrote last year that I actually really enjoyed...
I've decided to kill my most recent post... because, not only did most of you not know how to respond to it (except one of you.. =D), but neither did I. Because seriously, when I feel like that, I'm just waitin for something to snap me out of it. And I did. So why would I want to remember it?
I'm feeling so much better now. Not that I was depressed or anything, but definitely lacking passion/energy, something that I hate to see myself as. Well, now I finally have my voice back (or, most of it... I don't think I've completely had it since 8th grade...), so I will be more than happy to scream at your skankiness from across the hall (ESPECIALLY YOU, MAURA!! hahaha). I think my first time yelling in the hall today completely brought me back up. Pretty stupid, I know. But it's true.
Also it may have been my Euro test being over. Now the class if in full gear and I have a helluva huge reading assignment every day, but hey, at least I know what to do now. And, TOMORROW'S FRIDAY! Nothing makes me happier than that. Well, also situations outside of my control... but generally I'm awesome. (Naturally).
Hope you like or at least noticed the change... I had fun with it. Even though I'm no good with photostudio (cheap imitation of photoshop...), it was interesting to experiment. The words in the background are part of an essay I wrote last year that I actually really enjoyed...
9.12.2004
so deep in thought.. (right?)
It seems to me like everyone is. In fact, everyone and their mom's goldfish has xanga'd this week about something serious. Which is pretty cool, because havin a blog really ain't nothin unless you write about something interesting. Hey, for all you guys who aren't feeling well or need someone to rant at, I'm more than happy to hear it =D As much as my angry entries might scare you, I'm actually not that bad. I hope.
Personally I've had so much to think about the past week(s). But that friggin English notebook is so draining =D an entry per day, so I think I got my emotional ruckus down somewhere else. The point is... I'm becoming an NFL girl. (haha that sounds so superficial/stupid.) But I'm gonna start watching football, because the baseball season ends at SOME POINT, and not enough people understand/watch/follow it anyway. So, football. They wear spandex too, right?? (Just... kidding...) Besides, if I'm gonna stalk espn.com, I've gotta have something to occupy time in the off season.
All my TV shows are starting! Ah, the horror, the procrastination, the lack of concentration!! Missed the premiere of Jack and Bobby (BOHBBY!!), damnit. Between TV and sports, I'm gonna have no motivation to do work. Oh, shucks.
STOP WITH THE HOMECOMING TALK!!! There's like... ALMOST A MONTH. Gag me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to... Allen, Jeremy, Staci, Shennie, Loosay, and Bridgette. DAYUM so many September babies. All oh-so-sexy. Will you be my wifeys?
Random question for the week: Does this chick look like me??
It seems to me like everyone is. In fact, everyone and their mom's goldfish has xanga'd this week about something serious. Which is pretty cool, because havin a blog really ain't nothin unless you write about something interesting. Hey, for all you guys who aren't feeling well or need someone to rant at, I'm more than happy to hear it =D As much as my angry entries might scare you, I'm actually not that bad. I hope.
Personally I've had so much to think about the past week(s). But that friggin English notebook is so draining =D an entry per day, so I think I got my emotional ruckus down somewhere else. The point is... I'm becoming an NFL girl. (haha that sounds so superficial/stupid.) But I'm gonna start watching football, because the baseball season ends at SOME POINT, and not enough people understand/watch/follow it anyway. So, football. They wear spandex too, right?? (Just... kidding...) Besides, if I'm gonna stalk espn.com, I've gotta have something to occupy time in the off season.
All my TV shows are starting! Ah, the horror, the procrastination, the lack of concentration!! Missed the premiere of Jack and Bobby (BOHBBY!!), damnit. Between TV and sports, I'm gonna have no motivation to do work. Oh, shucks.
STOP WITH THE HOMECOMING TALK!!! There's like... ALMOST A MONTH. Gag me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to... Allen, Jeremy, Staci, Shennie, Loosay, and Bridgette. DAYUM so many September babies. All oh-so-sexy. Will you be my wifeys?
Random question for the week: Does this chick look like me??
9.06.2004
incomprehensible
Ohhhh my god. Friggin AMAZING weekend. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't even describe. I figure someone else will give a day-by-day (erm, hour-by-hour, depending if we slept or not o_O) soo uh. Just assume that if you don't know, you MISSED OUT. BEITCHES!
WILL MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS =*( Come back to visit SOON, and when I say soon, I mean within a month. OR... taf new year's =D, which is slightly more important.
Hehe so many funny/gay pictures. Mostly gay. All the pretty ones are with other people, as I'm too lazy to break out my camera during hipshong time.
So little sleep. Severe physical damage (due to Strain II of bahtinosis) as well as sleep deprivation. And screaming and singing and jumping around.
TOTAL CUBBIE WITHDRAWAL!! 4 offdays?? Insane! I was having convulsions. I stole Andrew's paper to check the sports section, even though I knew there wasn't a game til Monday. And then at Todai, I almost died when I realized they had ESPN on the tv screens. THAT PLACE IS FRIGGIN HEAVEN.
School seems so impossible/improbable tomorrow. Not only that... DRIVER'S ED! AH! I anticipate a 9 o'clock bedtime -set by myself. Wheee.
Ohhhh my god. Friggin AMAZING weekend. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't even describe. I figure someone else will give a day-by-day (erm, hour-by-hour, depending if we slept or not o_O) soo uh. Just assume that if you don't know, you MISSED OUT. BEITCHES!
WILL MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS =*( Come back to visit SOON, and when I say soon, I mean within a month. OR... taf new year's =D, which is slightly more important.
Hehe so many funny/gay pictures. Mostly gay. All the pretty ones are with other people, as I'm too lazy to break out my camera during hipshong time.
So little sleep. Severe physical damage (due to Strain II of bahtinosis) as well as sleep deprivation. And screaming and singing and jumping around.
TOTAL CUBBIE WITHDRAWAL!! 4 offdays?? Insane! I was having convulsions. I stole Andrew's paper to check the sports section, even though I knew there wasn't a game til Monday. And then at Todai, I almost died when I realized they had ESPN on the tv screens. THAT PLACE IS FRIGGIN HEAVEN.
School seems so impossible/improbable tomorrow. Not only that... DRIVER'S ED! AH! I anticipate a 9 o'clock bedtime -set by myself. Wheee.
8.29.2004
two rants on the day
One is in my journal for English, so you won't be seeing that one. (I'm actually looking forward to doing this assignment, something I haven't felt since art class in fifth grade. An actual journal with deep thoughts and crap like that? It's gotta be good. The rant's on religion, of course, because what would one of my journals be without a religion rant??)
Anyway, so AIM. Is it just me, or do people mercilessly slaughter the art of AIM? Let's narrow this down. Everyone knows that I, Bettina, Queen of the Universe, never/barely/rarely ever IM anyone first. That is because, among other reasons, I usually have something to do while I'm on the computer, so I'm not merely schputzing around and waiting for people to talk to me, I am actually concentrating on something (gasps!), (usually cubs.com or reading espn articles...). The point is, if you IM me, you better goddamn have a reason to, or at least have the effort to make conversation.
Now, I'm not always gonna just blow you off and tell you to leave me alone if you have nothing important to say (which I sometimes do tell people, if I'm really busy. Deal with it.) But if you DO have something to say, please go ahead and say it. You don't need to idly speak about nothing for 5 minutes before getting to the point (this applies to the phone too). Because when you ask how I'm doing, or "what's up?", I will definitely answer, with something entirely truthful nonetheless (more gasps!). And when I ask YOU, I expect the same, because I actually care. However, for those of you who DON'T (which I'm sure is at least 50% of the time), then DON'T FUCKING ASK. If you do this often enough, I guarantee I will stop caring and purposely - make no effort/kill the conversation/what YOU do - the next time you talk to me.
Otherwise!, I'm usually more than happy to just chat with you, especially if you're interesting to talk to. If you're not, you better goddamn have a game plan. What I hate the most is: when someone IMs you first, makes little/no attempt to keep up the conversation, and then says something along the lines of "Soooooooo...." or "anyway...." OR THE WORST, just "..." (as if I'm not good enough for any word composable on a qwerty keyboard) as a cue for ME to come up with something for US to talk about-- even though, (if you recall), that I wasn't the one all interested in talking to you in the first place. REMEMBER? YOU IMed ME.
So, if you're just an eager beaver and want desperately to talk to my Heavenliness, MORE POWER TO YA... don't be scared, if you're cool enough, I won't hate you! The point is, just fucking use some social skills, be respectful, and make AOL/thespawnofsatan PROUD.
One is in my journal for English, so you won't be seeing that one. (I'm actually looking forward to doing this assignment, something I haven't felt since art class in fifth grade. An actual journal with deep thoughts and crap like that? It's gotta be good. The rant's on religion, of course, because what would one of my journals be without a religion rant??)
Anyway, so AIM. Is it just me, or do people mercilessly slaughter the art of AIM? Let's narrow this down. Everyone knows that I, Bettina, Queen of the Universe, never/barely/rarely ever IM anyone first. That is because, among other reasons, I usually have something to do while I'm on the computer, so I'm not merely schputzing around and waiting for people to talk to me, I am actually concentrating on something (gasps!), (usually cubs.com or reading espn articles...). The point is, if you IM me, you better goddamn have a reason to, or at least have the effort to make conversation.
Now, I'm not always gonna just blow you off and tell you to leave me alone if you have nothing important to say (which I sometimes do tell people, if I'm really busy. Deal with it.) But if you DO have something to say, please go ahead and say it. You don't need to idly speak about nothing for 5 minutes before getting to the point (this applies to the phone too). Because when you ask how I'm doing, or "what's up?", I will definitely answer, with something entirely truthful nonetheless (more gasps!). And when I ask YOU, I expect the same, because I actually care. However, for those of you who DON'T (which I'm sure is at least 50% of the time), then DON'T FUCKING ASK. If you do this often enough, I guarantee I will stop caring and purposely - make no effort/kill the conversation/what YOU do - the next time you talk to me.
Otherwise!, I'm usually more than happy to just chat with you, especially if you're interesting to talk to. If you're not, you better goddamn have a game plan. What I hate the most is: when someone IMs you first, makes little/no attempt to keep up the conversation, and then says something along the lines of "Soooooooo...." or "anyway...." OR THE WORST, just "..." (as if I'm not good enough for any word composable on a qwerty keyboard) as a cue for ME to come up with something for US to talk about-- even though, (if you recall), that I wasn't the one all interested in talking to you in the first place. REMEMBER? YOU IMed ME.
So, if you're just an eager beaver and want desperately to talk to my Heavenliness, MORE POWER TO YA... don't be scared, if you're cool enough, I won't hate you! The point is, just fucking use some social skills, be respectful, and make AOL/thespawnofsatan PROUD.
8.28.2004
stolen from chewy
RULES:
1. Put your birth month in an entry.
2. Underline anything that doesn't apply to you.
3. Bold the four that best apply to you.
4. Put all twelve months under your own. [I broke the rules. Teehee. Find the months on Chewy's xanga.]
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
8.25.2004
AHHHHHHHHHH
It feels like I've been doing homework ALL WEEK. Oh wait... I HAVE. The sad thing is, I don't think I've had that much. The Euro essay definitely sucked bunnies... but then all I had was little assignments. I think this is the result of not having a last period study this year. I knew this was gonna happen. Man. Craptacular. Plus, my mommy's gotten into a habit of giving me two dinners... one at 4, one at 8. SOOOO much food! ARGH I don't even have gym this semester to work it off. Note to self: this could be a major problem.
Anyway, today was definitely better. I'm gonna talk about something non-school.
Oh yes, I'm getting my braces off (exactly) October 4, at 2pm. Wheeeeeeee... I'm mad I didn't get them off Monday, but the secretary was nice and bumped up 2 of my appointments, or else I'd be waiting til November. Driver's Ed starts Sept 7 ... I better find a way to manage my time before then, cuz this is not working.
editPS: The Fall Play is the Visit by Friedrich somethin. Soooooo good... the plot is CRAZY. I hope I can be in it, but again... the time management is perrrty bad on my end right now. Scratch that... the practices coincide with my Driver's Ed classes, which I definitely cannot be missing. Blah. Okay, winter play (and spring musical... haha).
It feels like I've been doing homework ALL WEEK. Oh wait... I HAVE. The sad thing is, I don't think I've had that much. The Euro essay definitely sucked bunnies... but then all I had was little assignments. I think this is the result of not having a last period study this year. I knew this was gonna happen. Man. Craptacular. Plus, my mommy's gotten into a habit of giving me two dinners... one at 4, one at 8. SOOOO much food! ARGH I don't even have gym this semester to work it off. Note to self: this could be a major problem.
Anyway, today was definitely better. I'm gonna talk about something non-school.
Oh yes, I'm getting my braces off (exactly) October 4, at 2pm. Wheeeeeeee... I'm mad I didn't get them off Monday, but the secretary was nice and bumped up 2 of my appointments, or else I'd be waiting til November. Driver's Ed starts Sept 7 ... I better find a way to manage my time before then, cuz this is not working.
editPS: The Fall Play is the Visit by Friedrich somethin. Soooooo good... the plot is CRAZY. I hope I can be in it, but again... the time management is perrrty bad on my end right now. Scratch that... the practices coincide with my Driver's Ed classes, which I definitely cannot be missing. Blah. Okay, winter play (and spring musical... haha).
8.24.2004
ugggh[aka big school entry, do not read if you don't want to think/hear about it]
Sooooo depressed. People ask me what I did this past summer... I really have no answer. Since I didn't do anything. AND IT WAS AWESOME!!! I just can't bear the fact that it's over already. I finally got a taste of how a normal summer should be, and now I don't want to let go! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...
So here goes round two of my "first day of school" entries. Basically, I'm still a freshman. I have all these random classes in the [confusingly numbered] C wing now, plus two half studies, so I definitely got lost twice today. Not only that, I went to the wrong study, and IN THAT WRONG STUDY, tried to climb over a desk and knocked it over/fell over/tripped. I'm also having major identity problems. All summer I've been my normal hyper happy self, and suddenly I'm back to school, where half of my classmates think I'm a nerd/hermit/listen to classical music?!? Anyway, so I'm still in my TAF social mood (I can't really explain it, I think most of you know what I mean), and I don't think I said anything TOO monumentally stupid, and a bunch of the girls who were on my squad last year are still randomly talking to me, so I guess it's a pretty good start. I think that everyone is always cooler the first week of school because they're hoping they'll find people to talk to during the course of the day. Once they find those people, the exclusiveness starts.
On a boringer note, my classes last FOREVER. NINE FUCKING PERIODS IN ONE DAY. 35 minutes added to the school day. Absolutely despicable. Literally the longest school day of my life. My lunch moved from 10:20 to 12:50. I'm most scared for Spanish and Math, cuz there are some pretty hardcore speakers in my class and some diehard Mathletes goin on thurr... kinda freaky. Drama is gonna be bomb... I'm really lookin forward to the plays and musical this year. Sooo lucky to have bunches of you guys in my classes. Hopefully I can make the most of it.
Anyway... gettin' back on the daily grind. I CAN'T WAIT FOR LABOR DAY WEEKEND. =D
Sooooo depressed. People ask me what I did this past summer... I really have no answer. Since I didn't do anything. AND IT WAS AWESOME!!! I just can't bear the fact that it's over already. I finally got a taste of how a normal summer should be, and now I don't want to let go! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...
So here goes round two of my "first day of school" entries. Basically, I'm still a freshman. I have all these random classes in the [confusingly numbered] C wing now, plus two half studies, so I definitely got lost twice today. Not only that, I went to the wrong study, and IN THAT WRONG STUDY, tried to climb over a desk and knocked it over/fell over/tripped. I'm also having major identity problems. All summer I've been my normal hyper happy self, and suddenly I'm back to school, where half of my classmates think I'm a nerd/hermit/listen to classical music?!? Anyway, so I'm still in my TAF social mood (I can't really explain it, I think most of you know what I mean), and I don't think I said anything TOO monumentally stupid, and a bunch of the girls who were on my squad last year are still randomly talking to me, so I guess it's a pretty good start. I think that everyone is always cooler the first week of school because they're hoping they'll find people to talk to during the course of the day. Once they find those people, the exclusiveness starts.
On a boringer note, my classes last FOREVER. NINE FUCKING PERIODS IN ONE DAY. 35 minutes added to the school day. Absolutely despicable. Literally the longest school day of my life. My lunch moved from 10:20 to 12:50. I'm most scared for Spanish and Math, cuz there are some pretty hardcore speakers in my class and some diehard Mathletes goin on thurr... kinda freaky. Drama is gonna be bomb... I'm really lookin forward to the plays and musical this year. Sooo lucky to have bunches of you guys in my classes. Hopefully I can make the most of it.
Anyway... gettin' back on the daily grind. I CAN'T WAIT FOR LABOR DAY WEEKEND. =D
8.19.2004
so unreal
Talking to people from school who are back from vacation... everything I imagine looks like a black and white flim. When I go back to school on Monday, it won't feel right. Nothing is going to be the same. I mean, first of all, the entirety of the "higher" portion of the social ladder is skeptical of me since I quit Hawkettes-- to them, it feels like I snubbed an entrance into their fold. Or something. I don't know. Maybe I snubbed it last year when I didn't do the instant transformo-slut/alcy/druggie that most girls did. Hawkettes is SO NOT for me. Not just socially, but dancing to compete like that, mechanically, it's just not me. So I'm glad I quit- I dance to PERFORM, to be creative, not to fit others' definition of achievement. But now I feel like a bum and I haven't had a class for more than a year and it just doesn't feel right.
Anyway, back to school. I'm scared of my workload this year. AP Euro is already scaring me... I just realized there's 100 pages of material I need to cover, and 50 I need to register, understand, analyze, and transform into 4 pages. So little time. I don't remember where the summer went. I don't remember where all my money went either, but that's another story. I can just feel the constant stress of school coming back to me.
I can feel the drama hanging over me-- it was like the game last night, with Russell Branyan the tying run at the plate, and Remmy serving up that homer. You hope it doesn't happen-- it doesn't seem like it will happen-- but deep down, you know it will. Rawrr. And even worse, homecoming in 1.5 months. I absolutely loathe the hype that comes with it.
Guess I should just enjoy more calm while it's still here, huh?
Talking to people from school who are back from vacation... everything I imagine looks like a black and white flim. When I go back to school on Monday, it won't feel right. Nothing is going to be the same. I mean, first of all, the entirety of the "higher" portion of the social ladder is skeptical of me since I quit Hawkettes-- to them, it feels like I snubbed an entrance into their fold. Or something. I don't know. Maybe I snubbed it last year when I didn't do the instant transformo-slut/alcy/druggie that most girls did. Hawkettes is SO NOT for me. Not just socially, but dancing to compete like that, mechanically, it's just not me. So I'm glad I quit- I dance to PERFORM, to be creative, not to fit others' definition of achievement. But now I feel like a bum and I haven't had a class for more than a year and it just doesn't feel right.
Anyway, back to school. I'm scared of my workload this year. AP Euro is already scaring me... I just realized there's 100 pages of material I need to cover, and 50 I need to register, understand, analyze, and transform into 4 pages. So little time. I don't remember where the summer went. I don't remember where all my money went either, but that's another story. I can just feel the constant stress of school coming back to me.
I can feel the drama hanging over me-- it was like the game last night, with Russell Branyan the tying run at the plate, and Remmy serving up that homer. You hope it doesn't happen-- it doesn't seem like it will happen-- but deep down, you know it will. Rawrr. And even worse, homecoming in 1.5 months. I absolutely loathe the hype that comes with it.
Guess I should just enjoy more calm while it's still here, huh?
8.15.2004
so monumentally screwed
I refuse to recognize that school starts in a week. REFUSE.
Emily's coming to visit today! WHEEEEEEEEEEE! Although, AHEM, some OTHER STL'ers should have come with her. Man I miss TAFers so much. I love my school friends, of course, but there's just so many people that I wish I could spend more time with during the year. Oh well, I've got today, Monday, and Wednesday dedicated to you kids =] Yay.
I'm starting driver's ed on Tuesday (hopefully). The lessons are supposed to start Monday but I have no way of getting there, plus it's the picnic! So I hope they'll let me start Tuesday and do a makeup class. That way, I can get my permit sometime in August, so I can get my license sometime before December =P. I'm really upset that I didn't make more of an incentive for driver's ed, like earlier in the summer. Then I wouldn't have to go through all of this right now, when school's beginning. I mean... NO IT'S NOT.
But really, I can write a 4 page paper easily, right? Pfft... let's hope I don't have too much confidence about my unused writing skills. And that the AP Euro teacher grades easy for summer homework. So, um, summer ends a week from today. And I'm getting my braces off SOON! (Hopefully next Monday.) Whee.
I refuse to recognize that school starts in a week. REFUSE.
Emily's coming to visit today! WHEEEEEEEEEEE! Although, AHEM, some OTHER STL'ers should have come with her. Man I miss TAFers so much. I love my school friends, of course, but there's just so many people that I wish I could spend more time with during the year. Oh well, I've got today, Monday, and Wednesday dedicated to you kids =] Yay.
I'm starting driver's ed on Tuesday (hopefully). The lessons are supposed to start Monday but I have no way of getting there, plus it's the picnic! So I hope they'll let me start Tuesday and do a makeup class. That way, I can get my permit sometime in August, so I can get my license sometime before December =P. I'm really upset that I didn't make more of an incentive for driver's ed, like earlier in the summer. Then I wouldn't have to go through all of this right now, when school's beginning. I mean... NO IT'S NOT.
But really, I can write a 4 page paper easily, right? Pfft... let's hope I don't have too much confidence about my unused writing skills. And that the AP Euro teacher grades easy for summer homework. So, um, summer ends a week from today. And I'm getting my braces off SOON! (Hopefully next Monday.) Whee.
8.10.2004
i cannot speak a word. i cannot sing a phrase. i cannot breathe in air. all i breathe is taf.
2004. Dayum. Words cannot really describe it... which is a good thing. Since I can't talk anymore. Nothing will ever compare to it... besides maybe another year of TAF down the line. Once again, TAF has taken my high-as-none-other expectations and soared above them. Even though ON PAPER it should have sucked. I battered myself so bad. I have billions of bruises. I'm sick to my stomach. My nose is stuffed, my ears are plugged, my eyes hurt, my entire body is sore.
DEAR LORD I MISS IT.
At TAF, I knew I was experiencing something special. But now I know... BEST YEAR EVER. It wasn't just the last night, it was EVERYTHING. It was the first day, jumping around, screaming "WE'RE AT TAF WE'RE AT TAF". It was the bus ride there. It was group games in the Great Hall. Scaring the new campers, then telling them to get used to it. It was watching the guys be gay together. Being Elissa's girlfriend. Knowing there is always someone willing to carry me to wherever I was going. Seeing old friends. Meeting new ones. Becoming better friends with old ones. Sitting in a room where you know everyone in there would give you a hug. Too many memories and jokes and stories and random laughs to recount.
I need to throw out thank yous-- so many people made my week. Young and Cat... amazing A/AA. The entire group-- my fellow cheerleaders, my spirit squad, you cheered me on throughout the week. We opened so much, we shared, we cried we laughed, just wow. Also.. definitely John, for being such a touching speaker. You opened my eyes to so much, opened my mind and made me dig inside for things that I didn't know I had. The power to forgive... to be redeemed... to be happy. I'm not gonna list everyone because I'm bound to leave someone out, but you know who you are. Anyone who chilled with me this week, made me laugh, made me think, gave me a piggyback ride.... everyone. I love you guys so much. I don't know how I live without seeing you during the year... every August I remember how much I want you guys in my life, to live love and learn with me.
I look back, and I can't remember... where did the week go? Where did my friends go? Did I really just hug them goodbye for an entire year? It seems so surreal- blame it on the lack of sleep. I just need to apologize for being so dead the last day. I wish I had been awake, alert, ready to leave my friends with the happy and energetic heart they're used to. And even though I can't really speak anymore... you've all heard my voice within.
TAF PIX UP
mission statement: To become a person whom I would respect. To have values and hold onto them with great integrity. To live with passion, to do what I love, be happy, and in turn, make the world a happier place.
My life's path is not a road. It is an ocean, with endless horizons all around.
2004. Dayum. Words cannot really describe it... which is a good thing. Since I can't talk anymore. Nothing will ever compare to it... besides maybe another year of TAF down the line. Once again, TAF has taken my high-as-none-other expectations and soared above them. Even though ON PAPER it should have sucked. I battered myself so bad. I have billions of bruises. I'm sick to my stomach. My nose is stuffed, my ears are plugged, my eyes hurt, my entire body is sore.
DEAR LORD I MISS IT.
At TAF, I knew I was experiencing something special. But now I know... BEST YEAR EVER. It wasn't just the last night, it was EVERYTHING. It was the first day, jumping around, screaming "WE'RE AT TAF WE'RE AT TAF". It was the bus ride there. It was group games in the Great Hall. Scaring the new campers, then telling them to get used to it. It was watching the guys be gay together. Being Elissa's girlfriend. Knowing there is always someone willing to carry me to wherever I was going. Seeing old friends. Meeting new ones. Becoming better friends with old ones. Sitting in a room where you know everyone in there would give you a hug. Too many memories and jokes and stories and random laughs to recount.
I need to throw out thank yous-- so many people made my week. Young and Cat... amazing A/AA. The entire group-- my fellow cheerleaders, my spirit squad, you cheered me on throughout the week. We opened so much, we shared, we cried we laughed, just wow. Also.. definitely John, for being such a touching speaker. You opened my eyes to so much, opened my mind and made me dig inside for things that I didn't know I had. The power to forgive... to be redeemed... to be happy. I'm not gonna list everyone because I'm bound to leave someone out, but you know who you are. Anyone who chilled with me this week, made me laugh, made me think, gave me a piggyback ride.... everyone. I love you guys so much. I don't know how I live without seeing you during the year... every August I remember how much I want you guys in my life, to live love and learn with me.
I look back, and I can't remember... where did the week go? Where did my friends go? Did I really just hug them goodbye for an entire year? It seems so surreal- blame it on the lack of sleep. I just need to apologize for being so dead the last day. I wish I had been awake, alert, ready to leave my friends with the happy and energetic heart they're used to. And even though I can't really speak anymore... you've all heard my voice within.
TAF PIX UP
mission statement: To become a person whom I would respect. To have values and hold onto them with great integrity. To live with passion, to do what I love, be happy, and in turn, make the world a happier place.
My life's path is not a road. It is an ocean, with endless horizons all around.
7.31.2004
AHMIGAH..
Okay I seriously meant for yesterday's post to be the last before taf, but COME ON! NOMAR?!?! ::excited!!:: I know, I know, I used to love gonzo and I still do but on paper this is an AMAZING deal. (PS Sorry Peter). So props to Jim Hendry, good luck to Maddux, and I hope Nomar can handle those ground balls cuz if he fucks up 300 I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him.
BUT NOMAR.
I can't believe I have to miss the next week of baseball. I don't know if I'll survive.
Okay I seriously meant for yesterday's post to be the last before taf, but COME ON! NOMAR?!?! ::excited!!:: I know, I know, I used to love gonzo and I still do but on paper this is an AMAZING deal. (PS Sorry Peter). So props to Jim Hendry, good luck to Maddux, and I hope Nomar can handle those ground balls cuz if he fucks up 300 I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him.
BUT NOMAR.
I can't believe I have to miss the next week of baseball. I don't know if I'll survive.
7.30.2004
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAF
Everywhere I look-- every profile, away message, xanga, blog... TAF TAF TAF TAF!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO EXCITED!!! Sunday, bus babyyyyyy =D And then I get to enter the beauuutiful Manchester dorms... decorated by my bestest buddies on hospitality - (Yea girls you hospitalize us! .. is that right?) I don't think I've ever been this excited for taf. Either because all mah boys n girls are on staff- or cuz I've spent all summer at home so I'm ready to leave-- haha. What sucks is, the end of taf means the end of summer. BUT LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT.
Tomorrow I need to go taf food shopping. And then me and Mueller are gonna make a huge "GOOD LUCK ON 300" sign to put on Maddux's door... we're gonna do it tomorrow night. I'm gonna bring a walkman onto the bus just so I can listen to the game =D (Well not the entire thing...) but yea, obsession. Whatever, 300 is BIG. Anyhoo, then I still got loads of packing to do. SO EXCITTTTTTTTTTTTTTED...
Who cares about the 5 page essay I gotta write for AP euro???
By the way... Mary and Lauren's shindig ROCKED. Football/red rover in a skirt ... Fondue! ... water fight (..in a skirt) ... so much food. Man. Just good old fashioned awesomeness. I love you guys. I'll miss you. CYA IN A WEEK, SUCKERS.
Everywhere I look-- every profile, away message, xanga, blog... TAF TAF TAF TAF!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO EXCITED!!! Sunday, bus babyyyyyy =D And then I get to enter the beauuutiful Manchester dorms... decorated by my bestest buddies on hospitality - (Yea girls you hospitalize us! .. is that right?) I don't think I've ever been this excited for taf. Either because all mah boys n girls are on staff- or cuz I've spent all summer at home so I'm ready to leave-- haha. What sucks is, the end of taf means the end of summer. BUT LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT.
Tomorrow I need to go taf food shopping. And then me and Mueller are gonna make a huge "GOOD LUCK ON 300" sign to put on Maddux's door... we're gonna do it tomorrow night. I'm gonna bring a walkman onto the bus just so I can listen to the game =D (Well not the entire thing...) but yea, obsession. Whatever, 300 is BIG. Anyhoo, then I still got loads of packing to do. SO EXCITTTTTTTTTTTTTTED...
Who cares about the 5 page essay I gotta write for AP euro???
By the way... Mary and Lauren's shindig ROCKED. Football/red rover in a skirt ... Fondue! ... water fight (..in a skirt) ... so much food. Man. Just good old fashioned awesomeness. I love you guys. I'll miss you. CYA IN A WEEK, SUCKERS.
7.25.2004
bad idea...
So I worked this morning on the new layout-- like it? Yeah well I don't care, cuz I like it. Anyway, so I looked for all these dance pictures, trying to make it look better (again, I like it, so shut up), and I ended up deciding I should stretch and/or throw on the pointe shoes for a bit. So I did, and now my left ankle feels like it just popped out of its socket. That may also because of the unnecessarily large amount of walking we did today uptown-- but I saw my Mike - MINE - so it's all good. The bands that were playing yesterday were pretty good too-- TNT IS DYNAMITE haha. Oh and yall know the other band wasn't that bad at all...
In other news, my p-baby is pitching tomorrow morning, so I'll be occupied (aka drooling) until about 3pm. Summer school is over! =) So we're going swimming with Constance on Monday. I have all these random plans for a vague "next week"... so one day I'm going to Six Flags (YEA?? or just a TAF gettogether..), one day I'm having a bake fest with Maria and Tami and Mike (not mine), and there is much stalking and street-running to accomplish before Livy leaves for Florida, Al leaves for Italy... and Em's already in Florida =(. In a rather cool way though, we're all gonna be gone during the same time, so we can spend more time together. And TAF is coming up-- SO EXCITED. Even more excited for the Cubs game after TAF-- bring on the Padres, baby. AND I might be going to Boston... but that's a very big MIGHT.
By the way, I must say that the Bosox/Yankee fight yesterday is possibly one of the best in all of baseball. Cmon-- the starting pitcher was bleeding from his ear, the "best player" in the major leagues screamed "fuck you", the guy who's already appealing a 5 game suspension literally DIVED into it, four players ejected, damn. Good shit. So now that the Sox AND the Cubbies are getting their grips, it's about time we overrun this goddamn deficit and defeat the two evillest teams in Major League Baseball. Damn right, it's better than yo's.
So there's less than a month of summer left... les do it, do it doooo ittt...
So I worked this morning on the new layout-- like it? Yeah well I don't care, cuz I like it. Anyway, so I looked for all these dance pictures, trying to make it look better (again, I like it, so shut up), and I ended up deciding I should stretch and/or throw on the pointe shoes for a bit. So I did, and now my left ankle feels like it just popped out of its socket. That may also because of the unnecessarily large amount of walking we did today uptown-- but I saw my Mike - MINE - so it's all good. The bands that were playing yesterday were pretty good too-- TNT IS DYNAMITE haha. Oh and yall know the other band wasn't that bad at all...
In other news, my p-baby is pitching tomorrow morning, so I'll be occupied (aka drooling) until about 3pm. Summer school is over! =) So we're going swimming with Constance on Monday. I have all these random plans for a vague "next week"... so one day I'm going to Six Flags (YEA?? or just a TAF gettogether..), one day I'm having a bake fest with Maria and Tami and Mike (not mine), and there is much stalking and street-running to accomplish before Livy leaves for Florida, Al leaves for Italy... and Em's already in Florida =(. In a rather cool way though, we're all gonna be gone during the same time, so we can spend more time together. And TAF is coming up-- SO EXCITED. Even more excited for the Cubs game after TAF-- bring on the Padres, baby. AND I might be going to Boston... but that's a very big MIGHT.
By the way, I must say that the Bosox/Yankee fight yesterday is possibly one of the best in all of baseball. Cmon-- the starting pitcher was bleeding from his ear, the "best player" in the major leagues screamed "fuck you", the guy who's already appealing a 5 game suspension literally DIVED into it, four players ejected, damn. Good shit. So now that the Sox AND the Cubbies are getting their grips, it's about time we overrun this goddamn deficit and defeat the two evillest teams in Major League Baseball. Damn right, it's better than yo's.
So there's less than a month of summer left... les do it, do it doooo ittt...
7.18.2004
For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else. ~Sir Winston Churchill
There has been nothing in my life that has affected me more than a turn towards optimism two years ago. I had spent years of hell in fear for my grades since my parents were so demanding about performance in school-- if I was procrastinating, it would eat away at me until I was forced to work, and while I was working, it'd still be painful since I knew that I wasn't finished. One day I just realized that no matter what, I would always finish my work when I needed to. I trusted myself. I stopped obsessing at every waking moment about unfinished projects, started to enjoy doing whatever it was that kept me from working, and just LIVED.
Somehow this attitude has permeated the rest of my life. People say that happiness is ignorance... if that's true, then ignorance is a blessing. Optimism is like all risks- there are some risks you can't afford to take, and some risks you can't afford NOT to take. What everyone fears about optimism is that he/she will not be prepared for disappointment if it comes. Unfortunately, this fear can be applied to anything, and soon, a person would turn into a pessimist. Not only does pessimism totally bring you down, it also brings everyone else down with you. If you are not going to be optimistic about something, at the very least do not swing the other way. Hope for the best- acknowledge the worst. Do not let the thought of the worst consume you.
Because of my newfound ability to be optimistic without screwing myself over, it puzzles and frustrates me when others get down. I don't like being brought down, so I will do my best to keep you up, unless you totally refuse to give yourself a break. I won't disillusion you-- people need truth, and I won't compromise my own values and give up my peace of mind to let you continue on your pity fest. NEVER pity fest me, because I will DROP YO' SPLEEN bitch.
Thank you.
There has been nothing in my life that has affected me more than a turn towards optimism two years ago. I had spent years of hell in fear for my grades since my parents were so demanding about performance in school-- if I was procrastinating, it would eat away at me until I was forced to work, and while I was working, it'd still be painful since I knew that I wasn't finished. One day I just realized that no matter what, I would always finish my work when I needed to. I trusted myself. I stopped obsessing at every waking moment about unfinished projects, started to enjoy doing whatever it was that kept me from working, and just LIVED.
Somehow this attitude has permeated the rest of my life. People say that happiness is ignorance... if that's true, then ignorance is a blessing. Optimism is like all risks- there are some risks you can't afford to take, and some risks you can't afford NOT to take. What everyone fears about optimism is that he/she will not be prepared for disappointment if it comes. Unfortunately, this fear can be applied to anything, and soon, a person would turn into a pessimist. Not only does pessimism totally bring you down, it also brings everyone else down with you. If you are not going to be optimistic about something, at the very least do not swing the other way. Hope for the best- acknowledge the worst. Do not let the thought of the worst consume you.
Because of my newfound ability to be optimistic without screwing myself over, it puzzles and frustrates me when others get down. I don't like being brought down, so I will do my best to keep you up, unless you totally refuse to give yourself a break. I won't disillusion you-- people need truth, and I won't compromise my own values and give up my peace of mind to let you continue on your pity fest. NEVER pity fest me, because I will DROP YO' SPLEEN bitch.
Thank you.
7.14.2004
baseball
1) If Roger Clemens is gonna suck, he can suck when he's pitching AGAINST US. Not FOR US.
2) I hope Scott Rolen suffers lasting damage from being pegged by Mark Mulder.
3) The Unit can NOT go to the Satans. Nononono. No.
4) There is NO SUCH THING as a Clement/Garciaparra deal. Nor a Gonzalez/Cabrera deal. NO! NONONONO!
5) 8 straight home games coming up. I predict we go 6-2.
6) Because Clemens was an asshole, the 2004 World Series will not begin at Wrigley. The middle three games will be at Wrigley. We will win Game 1, 3, 4, and 5. A mass celebration on Waveland will ensue.
taf
The pre-TAF anxiety has settled in. WHY DO I HAVE SO LONG TO WAIT?! HURRY HURRY HURRY... It's starting to enter into my subconcious. Like what to pack. And what to wear. And what I'm gonna make Jeremy do when he loses our bet that I will be tanner than him =D Ahhhhhhh!! [Who's taking the bus with me? Yea, yea?]
1) If Roger Clemens is gonna suck, he can suck when he's pitching AGAINST US. Not FOR US.
2) I hope Scott Rolen suffers lasting damage from being pegged by Mark Mulder.
3) The Unit can NOT go to the Satans. Nononono. No.
4) There is NO SUCH THING as a Clement/Garciaparra deal. Nor a Gonzalez/Cabrera deal. NO! NONONONO!
5) 8 straight home games coming up. I predict we go 6-2.
6) Because Clemens was an asshole, the 2004 World Series will not begin at Wrigley. The middle three games will be at Wrigley. We will win Game 1, 3, 4, and 5. A mass celebration on Waveland will ensue.
taf
The pre-TAF anxiety has settled in. WHY DO I HAVE SO LONG TO WAIT?! HURRY HURRY HURRY... It's starting to enter into my subconcious. Like what to pack. And what to wear. And what I'm gonna make Jeremy do when he loses our bet that I will be tanner than him =D Ahhhhhhh!! [Who's taking the bus with me? Yea, yea?]
7.11.2004
isn't it funny...
...when you're talking to a person, and they're completely killing you inside, but they have no idea? We work so hard to keep our faces calm, to keep our demeanor "normal", and in the end, you just wish you could have told the truth. Your mind races, you think of what to say, but what pops out is just a nonchalant "yeah" or small joke. Your heart feels squeezed to burst, wrung out and hung out to dry. Yeah. That's funny.
My gripe speech is about William Hung. I hate him. [>>]
My walls make me happy. They are so very me. I am fortunate to know what I am and accept it with enthusiasm. I have pity for those who can't. Life is life, so why can't we all just live? Detach yourself.
...when you're talking to a person, and they're completely killing you inside, but they have no idea? We work so hard to keep our faces calm, to keep our demeanor "normal", and in the end, you just wish you could have told the truth. Your mind races, you think of what to say, but what pops out is just a nonchalant "yeah" or small joke. Your heart feels squeezed to burst, wrung out and hung out to dry. Yeah. That's funny.
My gripe speech is about William Hung. I hate him. [>>]
My walls make me happy. They are so very me. I am fortunate to know what I am and accept it with enthusiasm. I have pity for those who can't. Life is life, so why can't we all just live? Detach yourself.
7.05.2004
interesting past couple of days
I think I'll leave it at that, cuz most of it is in my mind ... I think my life is changing a bit for me and it's really thought-provoking, to say the least.
First of all, I'd like to say... SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP The two evillest teams in the AL, Yankees and White Sox. What a great weekend. (I'm starting to kinda like the Mets... it has nothing to do with Kaz Matsui, of course.)
A pretty good movie weekend-type-span-of-days. Thursday - Dodgeball at Crown with Jason and Andrew. Friday - Raising Helen at Pickwick with.. everyone. Saturday watched this random interesting movie on TV with a fight scene in the bathroom and the guy stabbed the other with an electric toothbrush. And they ran out of bullets so they threw guns at eachother.
Happy 4th, by the way. I've never really been in the US for it before, so I was like amazed. Went to Mikey's and chilled, had dinner, set off SO MUCH crap, omg so much fun. I'm such a pyro. Got a billion mosquito bites... RAWRR. Only problem is, I went to Anne's after I got home and didn't call my sister to tell her, so I'm grounded tomorrow.
Summer school starts Tuesday, from 10:10 to 12:20... so I can basically still do stuff anyway. Oral Comm.. gonna be so great! Gnite all..
I think I'll leave it at that, cuz most of it is in my mind ... I think my life is changing a bit for me and it's really thought-provoking, to say the least.
First of all, I'd like to say... SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP The two evillest teams in the AL, Yankees and White Sox. What a great weekend. (I'm starting to kinda like the Mets... it has nothing to do with Kaz Matsui, of course.)
A pretty good movie weekend-type-span-of-days. Thursday - Dodgeball at Crown with Jason and Andrew. Friday - Raising Helen at Pickwick with.. everyone. Saturday watched this random interesting movie on TV with a fight scene in the bathroom and the guy stabbed the other with an electric toothbrush. And they ran out of bullets so they threw guns at eachother.
Happy 4th, by the way. I've never really been in the US for it before, so I was like amazed. Went to Mikey's and chilled, had dinner, set off SO MUCH crap, omg so much fun. I'm such a pyro. Got a billion mosquito bites... RAWRR. Only problem is, I went to Anne's after I got home and didn't call my sister to tell her, so I'm grounded tomorrow.
Summer school starts Tuesday, from 10:10 to 12:20... so I can basically still do stuff anyway. Oral Comm.. gonna be so great! Gnite all..
6.29.2004
i'll think of you every night before i fall asleep...
if you give me a quote to put on my walls =). Now that I know the markers exist, and where to find them (thanks Schlang!) I can finally start. My summer's gonna get a lil more busy starting next Monday cuz of summer school but apparently it's hella easy and it ends at 12:20 anyway so it's not like I'm really missin out on much. Anyway, once I get those markers I'm gonna start =D If you're within visiting distance, come over and I'll let you write! =D. If not, just submit any suggestion (quote, lyrics, poem, whatever) and I shall try to do it for you.
PS if you write anything obscene or just plain stupid (which I'm sure my awesome friends would never do...) then I'll just smite you with lightning later.
if you give me a quote to put on my walls =). Now that I know the markers exist, and where to find them (thanks Schlang!) I can finally start. My summer's gonna get a lil more busy starting next Monday cuz of summer school but apparently it's hella easy and it ends at 12:20 anyway so it's not like I'm really missin out on much. Anyway, once I get those markers I'm gonna start =D If you're within visiting distance, come over and I'll let you write! =D. If not, just submit any suggestion (quote, lyrics, poem, whatever) and I shall try to do it for you.
PS if you write anything obscene or just plain stupid (which I'm sure my awesome friends would never do...) then I'll just smite you with lightning later.
6.26.2004
6.23.2004
¿¿quieres ir a la discoteca??
Yesterday = fun shit. We should have more parties in my backyard =D Except I got mosquito bites... like the one on my forehead. Maybe that wouldn't have happened if Alex actually put the electric fly swatter to USE, instead of TELLING GRAPHER TO TOUCH IT... Anyway... me and my amigos (Lupe and Eduardo) just wanted to say gracias to everyone for attending my tejano commencement ceremony... it meant a lot to me, you know?
I owe you a shitload of pictures... from the picnic, too. And there was a rainbow today! (yes, I took pictures of it). And we're gonna have a car wash on Washington soon, so... lol. That way Anne doesn't have to bother putting on her shirt in the morning (which is obviously becoming a futile act). HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELOYCIOUS! ... and Mary, Anne, Rhi, Livy, and Maura (in the near future).
No, really though. I wanna go to the discotheque. =D So I needed things to do with my summer, so I think I'm going to redo the walls of my room. I'm just gonna write quotes all over my walls =D Schlang knows I'm good at that calligraphy shit, cuz I wrote her wedding invitations, right? So I'm looking for those paint markers... you know, they're markers but instead of ink they have paint? Okay someone tell me those things exist, because I can't find them, and I'm starting to think I'm hallucinating... any feedback would be cool =P
Everyone in Taiwan... COME BACK DAMNIT!!! We need to play =)
You can officially reach me during the summer (until TAF's over) at 372.7396 !!
Yesterday = fun shit. We should have more parties in my backyard =D Except I got mosquito bites... like the one on my forehead. Maybe that wouldn't have happened if Alex actually put the electric fly swatter to USE, instead of TELLING GRAPHER TO TOUCH IT... Anyway... me and my amigos (Lupe and Eduardo) just wanted to say gracias to everyone for attending my tejano commencement ceremony... it meant a lot to me, you know?
I owe you a shitload of pictures... from the picnic, too. And there was a rainbow today! (yes, I took pictures of it). And we're gonna have a car wash on Washington soon, so... lol. That way Anne doesn't have to bother putting on her shirt in the morning (which is obviously becoming a futile act). HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELOYCIOUS! ... and Mary, Anne, Rhi, Livy, and Maura (in the near future).
No, really though. I wanna go to the discotheque. =D So I needed things to do with my summer, so I think I'm going to redo the walls of my room. I'm just gonna write quotes all over my walls =D Schlang knows I'm good at that calligraphy shit, cuz I wrote her wedding invitations, right? So I'm looking for those paint markers... you know, they're markers but instead of ink they have paint? Okay someone tell me those things exist, because I can't find them, and I'm starting to think I'm hallucinating... any feedback would be cool =P
Everyone in Taiwan... COME BACK DAMNIT!!! We need to play =)
You can officially reach me during the summer (until TAF's over) at 372.7396 !!
6.18.2004
BORED
Yes, it's summer, I'm not in Taiwan, and I'm bored. WHY IS THIS SO BORING?? It really shouldn't be. I need a job >=(. Actually, I believe the problem is (as it's always been) that I can't drive and have no way to get out of this hellhole of Action Ridge. And why is everyone gone?? COME BACK, FUCKERS!! Don't you realize that my need for you is more important than any other reason you might go on vacation over the summer?? =P Plus I want to see all these movies and do all this stuff... AND NOBODY HAS TIME. Or a car. All I want is someone who will take me shopping, go watch movies, drive me... and uh.. pay for it all. So, a boyfriend =P hehe.. or my jiehjieh =)
This week I got really mad at my parents... they're just being so irrational, you know? It's different though, than with most kids and their parents. I have a different relationship with my parents. It's just so frustrating sometimes, it drives me insane. So now I can't go to St. Louis, and I guess Jeremy will have to come here (HINT HINT HINT HINT) if we really want to be able to do swing choir. Plus staff applications are due on Sunday so we need to figure this out. AHHH!!!!!! I don't know what to expect at TAF this year, though I am (of course) excited. Need to do roomie arrangements!! 109 <3
in other news...
I SO called all of this. ALL OF IT. Our return to the top? Well, everyone called that one =D. Alou's homer one out after Walker's? "Alou's up there sayin.. 'You think that was good? Watch this.'" I called that. Sweeping the Astros? I CALLED THAT. HELL YES. GO CUBBIES =D [ps i miss gonzo!!!]
Yes, it's summer, I'm not in Taiwan, and I'm bored. WHY IS THIS SO BORING?? It really shouldn't be. I need a job >=(. Actually, I believe the problem is (as it's always been) that I can't drive and have no way to get out of this hellhole of Action Ridge. And why is everyone gone?? COME BACK, FUCKERS!! Don't you realize that my need for you is more important than any other reason you might go on vacation over the summer?? =P Plus I want to see all these movies and do all this stuff... AND NOBODY HAS TIME. Or a car. All I want is someone who will take me shopping, go watch movies, drive me... and uh.. pay for it all. So, a boyfriend =P hehe.. or my jiehjieh =)
This week I got really mad at my parents... they're just being so irrational, you know? It's different though, than with most kids and their parents. I have a different relationship with my parents. It's just so frustrating sometimes, it drives me insane. So now I can't go to St. Louis, and I guess Jeremy will have to come here (HINT HINT HINT HINT) if we really want to be able to do swing choir. Plus staff applications are due on Sunday so we need to figure this out. AHHH!!!!!! I don't know what to expect at TAF this year, though I am (of course) excited. Need to do roomie arrangements!! 109 <3
in other news...
I SO called all of this. ALL OF IT. Our return to the top? Well, everyone called that one =D. Alou's homer one out after Walker's? "Alou's up there sayin.. 'You think that was good? Watch this.'" I called that. Sweeping the Astros? I CALLED THAT. HELL YES. GO CUBBIES =D [ps i miss gonzo!!!]
6.11.2004
how about BEST DAY EVER?
Sports announcers are funny:
"Cubs and Cards, in Chicago. And it was ALL Chicago. Already up 5-0 in the 4th inning. Moises Alou in the house... Moises Alou OUT of the house, 3-run homer."
"Derrek Lee up to bat... HELLO!!! 2-run homer. Did you know your name's an adverb?"
Um, can you say 11 hit-10 run inning? I think Cubbies can.
Oh, and Tony LaRussa? "They had an edge because we had a starting pitcher go down, and they took advantage." I'm sorry, did you forget that we've had two of the best pitchers and either one or BOTH have been down the ENTIRE SEASON? What the hell kind of excuse is that. Too bad we're just better than you. Go home, Tony. You too, Scott Rolen. You and your team are officially banned from my city.
LAKERS LOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST HAHAHAHHAHAHAA... Oh man... 68-88. GOOD SHIET. Just so goddamn funny... in the end they didn't even try anymore.. they benched almost all their starters. Lakers have never had less than 70pts in the playoffs in shot clock history. Oh right, except last night. I'd like to reassert that the Lakers are the Yankees of the NBA. Bastards. GO PISTONS!
SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!!!!!! God it feels so good. Sooo fresh n so clean clean. Ended up going uptown again yesterday... fun, and RAINY =) Yelling at hoodlums, saying "stupid freshies..", finding fake lipstick in the Waste Management receptacle.. and YARN!! Hahaha... hilarious.
EDIT!
WHAT THE HELL?? I am officially not allowed to buy any clothes for the rest of the entire fucking summer. WHAT?! I might as well just be banned from breathing. I don't expect to live through this. It's not like I have way too many clothes or anything... most of them are just stuff my sister gave to me 5 years ago. That's just ridiculous cuz I'm not even like high maintenance.. plus my mom has bleached/washed/dried half my clothes into nothingness. ARGH! I feel so stupid complaining about this.. but its ridiculous... I refuse!! ARGH I NEED A JOB!!
Sports announcers are funny:
"Cubs and Cards, in Chicago. And it was ALL Chicago. Already up 5-0 in the 4th inning. Moises Alou in the house... Moises Alou OUT of the house, 3-run homer."
"Derrek Lee up to bat... HELLO!!! 2-run homer. Did you know your name's an adverb?"
Um, can you say 11 hit-10 run inning? I think Cubbies can.
Oh, and Tony LaRussa? "They had an edge because we had a starting pitcher go down, and they took advantage." I'm sorry, did you forget that we've had two of the best pitchers and either one or BOTH have been down the ENTIRE SEASON? What the hell kind of excuse is that. Too bad we're just better than you. Go home, Tony. You too, Scott Rolen. You and your team are officially banned from my city.
LAKERS LOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST HAHAHAHHAHAHAA... Oh man... 68-88. GOOD SHIET. Just so goddamn funny... in the end they didn't even try anymore.. they benched almost all their starters. Lakers have never had less than 70pts in the playoffs in shot clock history. Oh right, except last night. I'd like to reassert that the Lakers are the Yankees of the NBA. Bastards. GO PISTONS!
SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!!!!!! God it feels so good. Sooo fresh n so clean clean. Ended up going uptown again yesterday... fun, and RAINY =) Yelling at hoodlums, saying "stupid freshies..", finding fake lipstick in the Waste Management receptacle.. and YARN!! Hahaha... hilarious.
EDIT!
WHAT THE HELL?? I am officially not allowed to buy any clothes for the rest of the entire fucking summer. WHAT?! I might as well just be banned from breathing. I don't expect to live through this. It's not like I have way too many clothes or anything... most of them are just stuff my sister gave to me 5 years ago. That's just ridiculous cuz I'm not even like high maintenance.. plus my mom has bleached/washed/dried half my clothes into nothingness. ARGH! I feel so stupid complaining about this.. but its ridiculous... I refuse!! ARGH I NEED A JOB!!
6.07.2004
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE FINALS WEEK??
A WHOLE DAMN LOT.
Mon:LAST DAY OF CLASSES!!!
(no studying, since I'm getting a good grade in Bio I don't have to take the actual exam, just a "practice AP" test... PUAHAHha)
Tue:Biology 9:50-11:20
(organize WC notes + outline English essay + Span project)
Wed:World Cultures 8:10-9:40; English 9:50-11:20; Spanish 11:30-1:00; lunch and CUBBIES with sis @ Koi... Prior on the mound =D
(study formulas and crap... won't take long)
Thu:Math 9:50-11:20; I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE!!!!!!
Yes, I'm aware that half of you are already out of school. So shut up and let me rejoice in my own pathetic happiness.
+ Sometime end of June/beg of July? - gonna visit STL =) - tell me if you're goin!!
+ Jul 5-23 I'm taking Oral Comm @ MS [second sem] 10:10-12:20am A123 with Mr. Simich
+ Aug 1-8 TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFF2k4
+ Aug 12 CUBBIE GAMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!
+ Late Aug - finally gonna take some DRIVERS ED.. puahahaha.. sucha young'n. I'll get my license ON MY BIRTHDAY... SUCKERS.
Hm yeah, so shapin up to be a good one. Leave somethin.
PS!!
For all you suckaz who wanna diss on my Cubbies, SHUT UP! Okay unless you're a Yankees fan (and I don't associate with those..) or a ChiSox fan (and Anne doesn't let any of those LIVE to associate with me) I don't diss your team so don't be dissin mine. And half of the players are my soulmates/boyfriends/meant-to-be's (OR Anne's OR Elyse's) so basically any bad word towards them goes straight to me... and yall know what happens when you cross the Queen. Damn right I'ma direct a cloud to rain on you for the next month!! Or.. grow a flower on your head. Plus, LEAVE PATTERSON ALONE!! [scroll halfway down to Support] ASSHOLES!! And yall call yourself Cubbie fans... booing the poor kid. Why don't you save your breath for Magglio, okay? =D
A WHOLE DAMN LOT.
Mon:
(no studying, since I'm getting a good grade in Bio I don't have to take the actual exam, just a "practice AP" test... PUAHAHha)
Tue:
(organize WC notes + outline English essay + Span project)
Wed:
(study formulas and crap... won't take long)
Thu:
Yes, I'm aware that half of you are already out of school. So shut up and let me rejoice in my own pathetic happiness.
+ Sometime end of June/beg of July? - gonna visit STL =) - tell me if you're goin!!
+ Jul 5-23 I'm taking Oral Comm @ MS [second sem] 10:10-12:20am A123 with Mr. Simich
+ Aug 1-8 TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFF2k4
+ Aug 12 CUBBIE GAMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!
+ Late Aug - finally gonna take some DRIVERS ED.. puahahaha.. sucha young'n. I'll get my license ON MY BIRTHDAY... SUCKERS.
Hm yeah, so shapin up to be a good one. Leave somethin.
PS!!
For all you suckaz who wanna diss on my Cubbies, SHUT UP! Okay unless you're a Yankees fan (and I don't associate with those..) or a ChiSox fan (and Anne doesn't let any of those LIVE to associate with me) I don't diss your team so don't be dissin mine. And half of the players are my soulmates/boyfriends/meant-to-be's (OR Anne's OR Elyse's) so basically any bad word towards them goes straight to me... and yall know what happens when you cross the Queen. Damn right I'ma direct a cloud to rain on you for the next month!! Or.. grow a flower on your head. Plus, LEAVE PATTERSON ALONE!! [scroll halfway down to Support] ASSHOLES!! And yall call yourself Cubbie fans... booing the poor kid. Why don't you save your breath for Magglio, okay? =D
6.02.2004
FUCKERS!!
YES, this is DAMN GOOD for Chicago.
Yes, this is DAMN GOOD for EVERYONE.. except the Pirates... and any other opponent soon to face us.
mMm lime jeLLo: my daddy got normal pepsi hehe
Frufru82: uhoh
Frufru82: watch out world
SOMEONE TAKE ME DANCINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, this is DAMN GOOD for Chicago.
Yes, this is DAMN GOOD for EVERYONE.. except the Pirates... and any other opponent soon to face us.
mMm lime jeLLo: my daddy got normal pepsi hehe
Frufru82: uhoh
Frufru82: watch out world
SOMEONE TAKE ME DANCINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
5.27.2004
WHY IS EVERYONE F'ING OUT OF F'ING SCHOOOOOOOOOL
Yes once again District 207 has managed to suck far beyond the capacity of any other school district... we have MORE than one week more than everyone else. What, they think that we love them so much that we need to stay longer? Hell no. Fuckers.
Why do these cherries taste like sour coffee?
Yearbooks came out this week... and my soulmates/boyfriends are looking mighty fine. I told all my close friends that I wouldn't sign their yearbooks since we see eachother every day, but then they (ahem, Maura) started complaining. So I guess I'm doing that again. I write so much =P and then I start babbling on to myself and making up all these random jokes. I think there should be a new variety of humor, named as such "Yearbook Humor", since it's stupid and funny but it's an inside joke, except only one person makes it up. Get it? Neither do I.
Anywhere, here's the part where I get sentimental and gushy. Freshman year was great... and I'm so glad within 2 weeks I will no longer be a froshie. And I shall be able to poke fun at others who ARE froshies. PuAHAHAHAHHA... good stuff. Right, so I met a bunch of people and had bunches-o-fun, yadayada. I just can't wait for this to be over... I feel so stationary. I need to DO something!! Driver's ed.. god... I will spend 40% of my days on the road when I finally get to drive, just to SAVOR it.. no, "SAVOUR" .. haha kooky Brits. Bah. ::slurp::
Good show, chaps. Let's do it again next year.
Yes once again District 207 has managed to suck far beyond the capacity of any other school district... we have MORE than one week more than everyone else. What, they think that we love them so much that we need to stay longer? Hell no. Fuckers.
Why do these cherries taste like sour coffee?
Yearbooks came out this week... and my soulmates/boyfriends are looking mighty fine. I told all my close friends that I wouldn't sign their yearbooks since we see eachother every day, but then they (ahem, Maura) started complaining. So I guess I'm doing that again. I write so much =P and then I start babbling on to myself and making up all these random jokes. I think there should be a new variety of humor, named as such "Yearbook Humor", since it's stupid and funny but it's an inside joke, except only one person makes it up. Get it? Neither do I.
Anywhere, here's the part where I get sentimental and gushy. Freshman year was great... and I'm so glad within 2 weeks I will no longer be a froshie. And I shall be able to poke fun at others who ARE froshies. PuAHAHAHAHHA... good stuff. Right, so I met a bunch of people and had bunches-o-fun, yadayada. I just can't wait for this to be over... I feel so stationary. I need to DO something!! Driver's ed.. god... I will spend 40% of my days on the road when I finally get to drive, just to SAVOR it.. no, "SAVOUR" .. haha kooky Brits. Bah. ::slurp::
Good show, chaps. Let's do it again next year.
5.17.2004
pix, cuz you know you want them
TAF ness =] .. an1 has the group pic.. somewhere.
Andrew n Jason... hand-sparring??
Can you guess whose leg is whose? And whose shoes? [ps: pay no attention to the difference between the hairy leg and the foot with nailpolish...]
Y-ME!!!!!!
This is what happens when you give Anne the camera:
Trying to look cool. / Yes, a boat. Good job Anne. / Pix of unsuspecting boys.
We are so cool. [Gimme a break, I was holding the camera in one hand, trying not to miss.]
Forced picture op. / Anne -thinking for once-?
More FPO's. / Maura being herself.
SO GODDAMN PRETTY!
So many people! Ahhh.. so much fun...
Notice Maura's tanktop... this is BEFORE she acquired that bright pink glow on her shoulders.
Notice the morning dew... this is BEFORE all the clothes came off. HAHA.
THERE'S MORE! .. em's ice show =)
You were ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE, Em!! We love you!!
So much cool shiet!! Joanne / asian chick! [shoulda known that an ice rink would have more asians than I've ever seen in Action Ridge] / she's, what, 9yrs old? / a Charlotte aka penche en arabesque .. daym. / 9yr old again.. DAYM.
BATMAN! [this one's for you, Maria]
Scooby! Joanne and Jenny [And Kyle... for you, Livy]
Yes, what you see before you is MEN IN TIGHTS...
Things to notice: Scott's pink ballet tights + 'hot tamale' boxers + Elyse's face + Olivia being drunk
Okay damnit, the only reason my legs look white is because Emily is wearing brown skating tights, so SHUT UP [eric and jeremy!].
THE END =)
TAF ness =] .. an1 has the group pic.. somewhere.
Andrew n Jason... hand-sparring??
Can you guess whose leg is whose? And whose shoes? [ps: pay no attention to the difference between the hairy leg and the foot with nailpolish...]
Y-ME!!!!!!
This is what happens when you give Anne the camera:
Trying to look cool. / Yes, a boat. Good job Anne. / Pix of unsuspecting boys.
We are so cool. [Gimme a break, I was holding the camera in one hand, trying not to miss.]
Forced picture op. / Anne -thinking for once-?
More FPO's. / Maura being herself.
SO GODDAMN PRETTY!
So many people! Ahhh.. so much fun...
Notice Maura's tanktop... this is BEFORE she acquired that bright pink glow on her shoulders.
Notice the morning dew... this is BEFORE all the clothes came off. HAHA.
THERE'S MORE! .. em's ice show =)
You were ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE, Em!! We love you!!
So much cool shiet!! Joanne / asian chick! [shoulda known that an ice rink would have more asians than I've ever seen in Action Ridge] / she's, what, 9yrs old? / a Charlotte aka penche en arabesque .. daym. / 9yr old again.. DAYM.
BATMAN! [this one's for you, Maria]
Scooby! Joanne and Jenny [And Kyle... for you, Livy]
Yes, what you see before you is MEN IN TIGHTS...
Things to notice: Scott's pink ballet tights + 'hot tamale' boxers + Elyse's face + Olivia being drunk
Okay damnit, the only reason my legs look white is because Emily is wearing brown skating tights, so SHUT UP [eric and jeremy!].
THE END =)
5.08.2004
weird week
I've been so ridiculously sick this past week... I can't survive more than 2 hours without a cough drop or I start coughing and never stop. AARRGGH I HATE BEING SICK. I didn't go to school Monday... and I had a bunch of chocolate to sell by Tuesday. Well anyway, the point is, everyone was extra super sweet to me when I came back =) It made me all warm and fuzzy inside. (Shut up Emily.) I even got a bunch of "Awww where were you yesterday?"'s and then a blush cuz you tough boys accidentally showed that you noticed I was gone... haha SUCKERS. People even bought all my candy cuz they felt bad for me... hahah... aww.. they made me happy. Anyway it totally restored my faith in a lot of people and I'm still sick aka DYING but yall are so cute... so THANKS =D
So I'm definitely stuck here at home tonight cuz I'm sick and cuz I have to wake up early tomorrow to walk the Y-ME Race for the Cure... yes, walk, since I'm not healthy enough to run ANYTHING. It's gonna be fun though =]
stolen from andrew ... bold applies to me
01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
14. I like George W. Bush
15. People are cool
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
18. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really, really smart (it's been mentioned, but I don't want to be conceited)
21. I've never broken someone's bones
23. I hate rain
24. I drink health juice
25. Punk rock rules
28. I would hate to be famous [paparazzi]
29. I am not a morning person
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Afghan
34. My legs are two different sizes I refuse to believe my legs are identical...
37. I can roll my tongue.
38. I dont like the way that I look
39. I'm obsessed with Italian food
41. I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want
42. I have mood swings than you
46. I have talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I have an imaginary friend
49. I am currently single
54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm a prep, shop at abercrombie, and ADMIT IT. -_-
58. I don't hate anyone
59. I know how to square dance
60. I have a unibrow
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mom
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
67. I never have had a girlfriend before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club
77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3
79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex
81. I'm online 24/7
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol at a party
84. I loved Rush Hour
85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy
86. If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey
89. I would die for my friends
92. I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy
96. Halloween is awesome
100. I'm happy.
I've been so ridiculously sick this past week... I can't survive more than 2 hours without a cough drop or I start coughing and never stop. AARRGGH I HATE BEING SICK. I didn't go to school Monday... and I had a bunch of chocolate to sell by Tuesday. Well anyway, the point is, everyone was extra super sweet to me when I came back =) It made me all warm and fuzzy inside. (Shut up Emily.) I even got a bunch of "Awww where were you yesterday?"'s and then a blush cuz you tough boys accidentally showed that you noticed I was gone... haha SUCKERS. People even bought all my candy cuz they felt bad for me... hahah... aww.. they made me happy. Anyway it totally restored my faith in a lot of people and I'm still sick aka DYING but yall are so cute... so THANKS =D
So I'm definitely stuck here at home tonight cuz I'm sick and cuz I have to wake up early tomorrow to walk the Y-ME Race for the Cure... yes, walk, since I'm not healthy enough to run ANYTHING. It's gonna be fun though =]
stolen from andrew ... bold applies to me
01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
14. I like George W. Bush
15. People are cool
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
18. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really, really smart (it's been mentioned, but I don't want to be conceited)
21. I've never broken someone's bones
23. I hate rain
24. I drink health juice
25. Punk rock rules
28. I would hate to be famous [paparazzi]
29. I am not a morning person
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Afghan
34. My legs are two different sizes I refuse to believe my legs are identical...
37. I can roll my tongue.
38. I dont like the way that I look
39. I'm obsessed with Italian food
41. I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want
42. I have mood swings than you
46. I have talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I have an imaginary friend
49. I am currently single
54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm a prep, shop at abercrombie, and ADMIT IT. -_-
58. I don't hate anyone
59. I know how to square dance
60. I have a unibrow
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mom
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
67. I never have had a girlfriend before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club
77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3
79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex
81. I'm online 24/7
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol at a party
84. I loved Rush Hour
85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy
86. If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey
89. I would die for my friends
92. I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy
96. Halloween is awesome
100. I'm happy.
5.01.2004
may
May is less showers, more flowers. May stops dreaming of nice weather, and starts living it. May breathes life into everyone. May means...
+ sun + perfect days + frolicking in the fields + flowers blooming + last weeks of school + free time + the smell of fresh-cut grass + end of track season + driving with the windows down + mary and anne's birthdays + my favorite month =)
and most importantly, May means... PRIOR'S COMIN BACK.
did I mention I'm going to a Cubs game? Aug 12th baby =D
[[addendum]] summer
There's nothing like counting down to summer =D. 5 weeks till finals... and FOR ONCE, I'm NOT going to Taiwan. And yes, while I was basking in the glory of knowing I won't have to spend 4 weeks alone/bored out of my mind, I realized... EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING. Argh. Timing can kiss my ass. Anyway, I'm thinkin of working this summer, maybe take some dance classes. I've also gotta take driver's ed and then I got summer school in July. TAF2k4 is Aug 1-8 and I CAN'T WAIT =) Yepp those are my plans... it feels good to know I'm actually doing something for once. Yay.
May is less showers, more flowers. May stops dreaming of nice weather, and starts living it. May breathes life into everyone. May means...
+ sun + perfect days + frolicking in the fields + flowers blooming + last weeks of school + free time + the smell of fresh-cut grass + end of track season + driving with the windows down + mary and anne's birthdays + my favorite month =)
and most importantly, May means... PRIOR'S COMIN BACK.
did I mention I'm going to a Cubs game? Aug 12th baby =D
[[addendum]] summer
There's nothing like counting down to summer =D. 5 weeks till finals... and FOR ONCE, I'm NOT going to Taiwan. And yes, while I was basking in the glory of knowing I won't have to spend 4 weeks alone/bored out of my mind, I realized... EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING. Argh. Timing can kiss my ass. Anyway, I'm thinkin of working this summer, maybe take some dance classes. I've also gotta take driver's ed and then I got summer school in July. TAF2k4 is Aug 1-8 and I CAN'T WAIT =) Yepp those are my plans... it feels good to know I'm actually doing something for once. Yay.
4.25.2004
how is it that weekends pass so quickly?
I feel as if I'm making very little progress in my life. The days drag on, but by the end of the week, I'm wondering how I got there. I missed the deadline to apply for the staff of the school newspaper... damnit. I'm being such a bum, I've always been one, and I can't seem to stop being one. The days go by, and soon, school will be over, and I still won't have accomplished anything. I need to seriously find a way to get myself to do something.
It rained this weekend. It was nice... especially being at Old Orchard at night, running around, the Christmas lights still up. I was outside a lot this weekend... thinking about random things. I didn't really have a lot of answers for myself. In fact, the more I thought, the more questions I had. I guess it's been a while since I've allowed myself to analyze like this, since I'm always sick of overanalyzation. Plus, so many people go ballistic when anyone tries to have a serious conversation. I hate that it's so impossible to have real conversations with people these days. Sometimes it seems all they want is your jokes, your silliness, your stories. I know it's fun... but isn't there anything more? I'm sick of people who don't expect-- don't WANT more from you than just that. Since when is depth such a bad thing to have?
drama drama drama angst drama.
I feel as if I'm making very little progress in my life. The days drag on, but by the end of the week, I'm wondering how I got there. I missed the deadline to apply for the staff of the school newspaper... damnit. I'm being such a bum, I've always been one, and I can't seem to stop being one. The days go by, and soon, school will be over, and I still won't have accomplished anything. I need to seriously find a way to get myself to do something.
It rained this weekend. It was nice... especially being at Old Orchard at night, running around, the Christmas lights still up. I was outside a lot this weekend... thinking about random things. I didn't really have a lot of answers for myself. In fact, the more I thought, the more questions I had. I guess it's been a while since I've allowed myself to analyze like this, since I'm always sick of overanalyzation. Plus, so many people go ballistic when anyone tries to have a serious conversation. I hate that it's so impossible to have real conversations with people these days. Sometimes it seems all they want is your jokes, your silliness, your stories. I know it's fun... but isn't there anything more? I'm sick of people who don't expect-- don't WANT more from you than just that. Since when is depth such a bad thing to have?
drama drama drama angst drama.
4.18.2004
wrapup shiet
Hmm... once again, baseball has taken hold of my life. Not just the Cubs... JAVY.
Oh hell yes you're seein right. .577 thus far. That's my baby =D Um, so Anne's worried about my well-being due to this baseball obsession, so I guess I am going extreme. I remember how it was earlier this school year... interesting since there are two seasons per school year, and this seems like such a "new beginning" type thing. It gives me some new energy.
Track is going pretty well.. not that I'm GOOD at it, but I feel good doing it. Okay, not physically, but MENTALLY... and afterwards it always feels rewarding. Even though we did sprint workouts all last week... sprinted at least 2 miles a day cept Friday (running in the forest preserve aka TRACK BOYS IN THE FOREST! We wish!). Hawkette tryouts are Mon-Thu this week and I'm pretty much definitely not going to do that again next year. I've got really mixed up feelings about this, but I guess I'm pretty confident in my decision. =T Ask me for details, I guess?
It was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS this weekend. Friday uptown, having our hispanic heritage discussions, seeing Andrew get arrested for dealing, and just about everyone who lives in Action Ridge. Saturday OLD ORCHARD for the first time since god knows when. Got all this free shit from Nordstrom... candy, perfume, purses, candy, pop, candy... MAn... just a GREAT day =D. I tried on a really perty skirt =( but uh my legs looked "bad" (replacement of word for Elyse's sake) though according to Mary they are more like "coveted". Wtf. Who covets my legs?? o_O Today after chinese school I had a picnic with my family (aka daddy and jieh jieh). Which was FUN. Wheeeeeeeeee... Sorry, what a random post. BUT YOU LOVE IT.
PS: minimal AIMage this week... don't feel offended if I leave a lot.
Hmm... once again, baseball has taken hold of my life. Not just the Cubs... JAVY.
Oh hell yes you're seein right. .577 thus far. That's my baby =D Um, so Anne's worried about my well-being due to this baseball obsession, so I guess I am going extreme. I remember how it was earlier this school year... interesting since there are two seasons per school year, and this seems like such a "new beginning" type thing. It gives me some new energy.
Track is going pretty well.. not that I'm GOOD at it, but I feel good doing it. Okay, not physically, but MENTALLY... and afterwards it always feels rewarding. Even though we did sprint workouts all last week... sprinted at least 2 miles a day cept Friday (running in the forest preserve aka TRACK BOYS IN THE FOREST! We wish!). Hawkette tryouts are Mon-Thu this week and I'm pretty much definitely not going to do that again next year. I've got really mixed up feelings about this, but I guess I'm pretty confident in my decision. =T Ask me for details, I guess?
It was ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS this weekend. Friday uptown, having our hispanic heritage discussions, seeing Andrew get arrested for dealing, and just about everyone who lives in Action Ridge. Saturday OLD ORCHARD for the first time since god knows when. Got all this free shit from Nordstrom... candy, perfume, purses, candy, pop, candy... MAn... just a GREAT day =D. I tried on a really perty skirt =( but uh my legs looked "bad" (replacement of word for Elyse's sake) though according to Mary they are more like "coveted". Wtf. Who covets my legs?? o_O Today after chinese school I had a picnic with my family (aka daddy and jieh jieh). Which was FUN. Wheeeeeeeeee... Sorry, what a random post. BUT YOU LOVE IT.
PS: minimal AIMage this week... don't feel offended if I leave a lot.
4.14.2004
rediscovered the meaning of a "good weekend" [with pix!]
Ice skating.. [last weekend]
These two hot chicks... and me. and wtf is alex doing?!
Olivia is doing her "sexy look" and I look like shit... NEXT PICTURE!
Lookit the yummy pie!! [NOT a distraction] - creation by Ma-rrrrrrrrr-ia!Plus mocha thumbprints (tamara) and lemon-lime bars (meee)
Cone cupcakes (mM yes, cupcake mix in ice cream cones) by tam, and HEAVENLY CHEESECAKE by yours truly... yes, it was awesome.
Another picture of 2 beautiful ladies =P
Smile, Jase! ::snap:: Ahhh the face is melting! "wha? mm" ::snap::
"We'll just pretend we're naive and don't know how to tip..." yes, the waitress LOVED US.
"You can NEVER go wrong with Lee st!"
Red bean bing? =P "Uh, where IS coffeehaus?"
The REAL reason Franklin wouldn't hang out with us... but I forgave him, cuz he's mah roomie =)
"Let's play a game.. it's called.. FOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [and then jason stabbed andrew..]
WHEW!!! Great one, guys. I basically did everything that I've wanted to do for the longest time. That would be:
+ BAKE!! [pictures to come]
+ hang out with Maria and Tamara and discuss our non-evil plans
+ get bubble tea
+ chill with tafers [pix to come]
+ watch a cubs game! (i <3 gonzo, patterson, wood, grudz, walker, et al)
+ amble around my town on a nice day
+ sleep for more than 10 hrs (this has not happened since winter break)
+ HAMMOCK!!!!
Got to chill with lots of people I usually don't see, talk to people I usually don't talk to, have all sorts of awesome conversations and all that great stuff... you guys are awesome =D Thanks for making me actually feel happy for the first time in a long while... I'll update this when I have time later =T I just had to let everyone know that I'm happy for once ~_^
Ice skating.. [last weekend]
These two hot chicks... and me. and wtf is alex doing?!
Olivia is doing her "sexy look" and I look like shit... NEXT PICTURE!
Lookit the yummy pie!! [NOT a distraction] - creation by Ma-rrrrrrrrr-ia!Plus mocha thumbprints (tamara) and lemon-lime bars (meee)
Cone cupcakes (mM yes, cupcake mix in ice cream cones) by tam, and HEAVENLY CHEESECAKE by yours truly... yes, it was awesome.
Another picture of 2 beautiful ladies =P
Smile, Jase! ::snap:: Ahhh the face is melting! "wha? mm" ::snap::
"We'll just pretend we're naive and don't know how to tip..." yes, the waitress LOVED US.
"You can NEVER go wrong with Lee st!"
Red bean bing? =P "Uh, where IS coffeehaus?"
The REAL reason Franklin wouldn't hang out with us... but I forgave him, cuz he's mah roomie =)
"Let's play a game.. it's called.. FOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [and then jason stabbed andrew..]
WHEW!!! Great one, guys. I basically did everything that I've wanted to do for the longest time. That would be:
+ BAKE!! [pictures to come]
+ hang out with Maria and Tamara and discuss our non-evil plans
+ get bubble tea
+ chill with tafers [pix to come]
+ watch a cubs game! (i <3 gonzo, patterson, wood, grudz, walker, et al)
+ amble around my town on a nice day
+ sleep for more than 10 hrs (this has not happened since winter break)
+ HAMMOCK!!!!
Got to chill with lots of people I usually don't see, talk to people I usually don't talk to, have all sorts of awesome conversations and all that great stuff... you guys are awesome =D Thanks for making me actually feel happy for the first time in a long while... I'll update this when I have time later =T I just had to let everyone know that I'm happy for once ~_^
